Catholic apologist Tim Staples joins Cy Kellett to tackle the misconception that Natural Family Planning is merely Catholic contraception. Tim passionately clarifies the Church’s teaching on responsible parenthood, emphasizing that being open to life doesn’t mean having to have as many children as possible.
Transcript:
Cy: I hate that. It’s among young people as well, who say this. Look, natural family planning is Catholic contraception. So is natural family planning just Catholic contraception?
Tim: Right. And the answer is a resounding no. And unfortunately, Cy Kellett, not only do we have folks outside of the church who say that, but you have some folks— not to pick on. You know, I like Trent Horn’s term “the Catholic fundamentalist” as a sort of nomenclature rather than, you know, radical traditionalist or whatever. But among the Catholic fundamentalists, like that fellow, the kicker for the Kansas City Chiefs.
Cy: I wasn’t gonna mention, but I didn’t. Harrison Butker. And I didn’t like that talk he gave.
Tim: Harrison Butker.
But, yeah, Harrison Butker. Yeah, it was. Oh, he’s one of those. And God bless him, he’s Catholic and…
Cy: He seems like a very good man.
Tim: He’s on the side of the angels.
Cy: And he can kick it a mile.
Tim: Oh, my goodness. And his accuracy is ridiculous. Right. But the bottom line is… Yeah. He has this misnomer that, you know, as a Catholic, when you get married, you gotta have as many babies as… And remember Pope Francis, he got kind of slapped around for saying what he said, “We’re not rabbits,” you know. And I know some folks got mad at Pope Francis for that, but I was actually going, you know, if you forget about the surface and look at what the Holy Father was saying, no, we are not. It is as *Gaudium et Spes* section 50 talks about responsible parenthood. That is a Catholic idea.
And so anyway, to get to the answer here, no, as a Catholic, you do not have to have as many. In fact, some go to such an extreme that they say you can’t even have conjugal relations with your wife unless she’s fertile. Because if you have sex when she can’t get pregnant, that’s contraception.
But here’s the point. The key is that the Catholic position is a natural law position that states… And we can set it up by saying, look, all of our natural faculties as human beings, we can talk about the communicative faculty. Section 2485 of the Catechism says when we deliberately deceive someone with regard to truth, we’re acting contrary to the very end of our communicative faculty, which is the communication of truth. So if you purposely deceive, and that’s called a lie, why? Because you’re acting contrary to that faculty gifted to us by Almighty God.
Well, we could talk about other faculties of human beings, but here we’re talking about the sexual faculty. The purpose of the sexual faculty is twofold. One, the union of one man, one woman. That’s right. Not one man, one man. Not three men, one man, or any other one woman.
I’m just explaining math to you.
Sorry, math, that’s a tricky concept. But one man, one woman, the union of one man and one woman, and two, the procreation of children. That’s the purpose of the conjugal act.
But here’s the key, Cy. If we purposely thwart either of those two essential ends, that act becomes gravely— and yes, I’m going to shout it— gravely disordered. *A la* Pius XI in *Casti Connubii*. Gravely disordered. Why? Because you are purposely distorting. You are contradicting one or the other. And often it ends up being both of the purposes of the sexual act. Therefore, you’re distorting that sexual faculty.
Now, in what we call natural family planning, we are doing the opposite of what would be a sin in thwarting. Remember, it’s purposely knowingly thwarting either one of those two essential ends. In natural family planning, we are honoring both of those. So much so that if we are in a situation— that has to be a reasonable situation— where we believe we ought not to pursue pregnancy at this point in our marriage, and that can be for financial reasons, it can be physical reasons, a bodily ailment, it can be psychological. There are many reasons, and that’s something that needs to be determined by the couple, in consultation with a spiritual director and so forth.
But if you determine that, rather than thwart either one of those acts— and here we’re focusing on the second that I mentioned, which traditionally is the primary end of the conjugal act, and that is the procreation of children— if you don’t feel like, or you don’t… I shouldn’t say feel like. If you do not believe it is God’s will for you to have children at that time, you abstain from sexual activity, which, by the way, St. Paul recommends in marriages.
For example, where is that? In 1 Corinthians 7, St. Paul talks about coming apart for a time of prayer. But be careful. Don’t do it for too long unless you get tempted. St. Paul said that that actually can be a blessing.
And I can tell you this. In my wife and my marriage, natural family planning has been a huge gift, not only in helping us to get pregnant. We’ve been pregnant nine times. We got pretty good at it. We have two in heaven and seven on Earth. It’s a great way to get pregnant, but it’s also in those times that are, you know, a serious situation that keeps you from wanting to have children at this particular point out of respect for the conjugal act and God’s law.
And that’s divine law. It’s not only natural law, but it’s also divine law because it’s revealed to us as well in Scripture, the sin of Onan in Genesis 38 as interpreted by Pius XI again in *Casti Connubii*. And the Church perennially has understood that to not only be a matter of natural law, but also divine law because of that revelation.
But here’s the key, all right? If you are using natural family planning, it is impossible for you to contracept. It’s impossible. Why? Because contraception is purposely acting contrary to one or more of those two essential ends. And if you are using natural family planning, you are respecting both by the nature of the act. You’re respecting both the love of one man, one woman. You’re renewing the covenant to strengthen your marriage, and you are respecting the procreative aspect by not engaging at that time.
It’s impossible for you then to contracept because the definition of contraception is to willfully thwart the procreation of children. Now, is it possible to sin by doing that? Yes, it is. For example, if you get married and you say, “Well, we’re just going to use natural family planning the whole time of our marriage to avoid pregnancy.” To avoid pregnancy.
Now, you would not be contracepting unless you contracept, that is purposely willfully thwart that procreative aspect of the conjugal act. But you can be guilty of sin because of your lack of generosity. And that can be grave in a marital context, depending upon, like I said, you have a healthy woman, healthy man. There’s no other reason for you not to have children other than, you know what? I gotta get that brand new car every two years. You know, I’ve gotta get the latest…
Cy: Then there’s… That’s in his selfishness. It’s not contraception.
Tim: It’s selfishness. It’s a lack of generosity. And yes, that can be sinful. But I think that the most important point, I would say to our friend from the Kansas City Chiefs, right, understand what contraception is. It’s that willful… You are imposing your will against what the natural law tells us, Revelation tells us is the purpose.
And I argue with Pius XI, the primary, which is the procreation of children, you willfully thwart that. You are standing against God. God’s will for your marriage and God’s will for the conjugal act. In my mind, it can’t get any more plain. This is not Catholic contraception. It’s not contraception at all.
Cy: And the fact is that if the Church says the parents have the right to decide on the spacing of children and the number of children, and with all the qualifiers that go with that, some people are going to get that wrong. And here’s the deal. The Church is comfortable with that. It’s not a busybody Church telling everybody what to do all the time.
Tim: That’s right. I encourage folks to talk with a spiritual director…