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How to ‘Manage Up’

Patrick Lencioni gives advice on “managing up” to a Catholic school teacher who doesn’t know how to talk to her principal and pastor about the school’s suffering spiritual life without sounding critical.

Transcript:

Host: Anonymous in Colombus, Ohio, listening on 820 AM, Anonymous, you are on with Patrick Lencioni.

Caller: Hi Patrick!

Patrick: Hi there.

Caller: I’m a Catholic school teacher who’s kind of at the bottom of the totem pole as far as, like, hierarchy goes in our school, I’m one of the newer ones. And I’ve noticed in the past couple of years working there that, while we have many gifts, I’m seeing the spirituality of our school kind of die; there’s not a lot of joy in the Gospel, and I’m watching that happen with our teachers and their spirituality, and it looks like the leadership is getting really worried about money, so the focus is more on tuition than the individual child. And I’m praying on that, and feeling really unrestful about it, and I’m trying to figure out how to bring some of those concerns up to my principal and to our pastor without sounding like I’m telling them they’re not doing a good job. Like how to maybe shed a light on something we have a need for that I’d like to help with, without putting them on the defensive or making them think that I’m accusing them of not doing a good job at their job.

Patrick: That’s a beautiful desire, and I do have some advice about that. I’m a big believer in “managing upward,” and I think the issue is humility and the kind truth. And much of my career was predicated on me being the guy–people used to shove me in the CEO’s office and say, “You tell him!”

And I’d be like, “You work for him, I don’t work for him!”

“Yeah, but he listens to you!”

And I think it’s because I learned how to tell them what they needed to hear in a way that was kind and didn’t threaten them. Because I honored them, and I said, “You have a hard job, I couldn’t do this job, I know how hard it is and I don’t want you to think I’m condescending;” in other words, exactly what you just said, Anonymous.

And go to them and say, “The last thing I would ever want to do is seem like I was trying to tell you how to do your job, but I feel like if we really recommitted to the spiritual joy of the Gospel in this school, it would really help, and I would love to help you in any way. And I will put myself at your disposal to do that. I have some ideas, I’m open to your ideas too, but this is really important to me. And just so you know, I’m gonna pray for you, and for the school, all the time.”

The other thing–so I would say, go do that. Lemme tell you something: one time out of a hundred, someone’s gonna get fired for doing that. Fifty times out of a hundred, they’re gonna say, they’re gonna ignore it. Forty times, they’re gonna go, “That’s so wonderful, let me help you.” There’s no real cost to doing this. If they ignore it, you’ve done your very best, and just keep praying, ’cause God can make things happen. But almost half the time, probably, that’s my guess, is they’re gonna go, “Wow, this is great; that’s disarming, the way you asked us; what are your ideas?” But go in there with that kind of attitude.

And here’s the other thing, I would say, is call my friends in Los Angeles, the Carmelite sisters of Alhambra, and ask them to pray for you. These women are the dearest human beings, so close to Jesus, and they will pray for you. And if you can get religious communities praying for you, God will open up doors; I think sometimes God is just like, “Why aren’t you people asking me to help you? I will help you.” So it sounds like you’re already there, sounds like you’re doing the right things, and just be really vulnerable and anticipate their objections, just say, “I know I’m young, I know I’m not at the top of the hierarchy, and I know I don’t want to make you think I’m criticizing you; I’m here to help you,” and they will probably love you for that.

Caller: Thank you so much, I appreciate it.

Patrick: Sure, God bless you.

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