Trent Horn explains to a caller who is living chastely in an invalid marriage why he is allowed to enter the Church but is not allowed on a retreat, and lists the steps he can take to rectify the situation.
Transcript:
Host: We go now to Vince in Cape Girardeau, Missouri listening on 89.1 FM, Vince, you are on with Trent Horn.
Caller: Thank you so much for taking my call. Trent, my question is this…let me preface with, what I’m rejecting is the apparent contradiction in the application of the Catholic morality code. I came into the Church in 2014 with an invalid marriage. My wife had been married previously and I had not, and we got married before I came into the Church some years before. I was told initially that I couldn’t come fully into the Church because of the marriage and so I asked the priest, “Does it matter if I’ve been living in abstinence?” And he said, “Yes that does, if you’re living as brother and sister you can come into the Church.” So I get that.
Well, this year in January, I had one of my RCIA teachers asked me if I would like to go to a Cursillo movement in March, and I said absolutely, I was excited and it thrilled, and then when I sold out the paperwork and then, you know, he was going to be my sponsor, he said, “Well, the priest has said that you can’t go because of your marriage, even though I’m still living abstinently from my wife. So the most important thing, coming into the Church, is allowable and acceptable; however for me to utilize the… like the Cursillo movement, the tools I guess, so to speak, to advance my faith, and help me be able to share my faith, I mean I can’t take part in that, because of the invalid marriage in which I’m still living abstinently, so do I stay where I’m at, and have conjugal relations, and just go to confession every week, or, you know, what—I am rejecting the application of…it’s not consistent. I can come into the Church but I can’t go to a Cursillo movement. Can you help me with that?
Trent: I think I can, though I do commend you, Vince, as people have been discussing in the Catholic blogosphere and news a lot lately about those individuals who are in invalid marriages, and speaking about whether they can receive Communion or not, and whether we can expect anyone to live as brother and sister, to live chastely if they’re in an invalid marriage, and many people just say, “Well, it can’t be done.”
Well you, my friend, are living proof it most certainly CAN be done, and so I commend you for that, and to—in this day and age when people think that God’s grace is…its power has no standing, can’t hold a candle to the power of the sexual urge, it’s very very sad, even when some Catholics say, “Well, yeah yeah, there’s grace, yeah yeah yeah, but look, you can’t expect people to live this way.” Yes you can, ’cause as St. Paul says in the letter to the Philippians, through Christ—”I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me.” So don’t give that up, continue to let God’s grace in your heart and to live the moral life you are living now. And it’s wonderful to see that, to uphold the beauty and dignity of marriage in what you’re doing.
So I would say it’s definitely—it makes no sense to say—I mean the only argument one could give is if, maybe if you were a leader in this program, and there’s a worry about about scandal or something like that, but I would say that if you have made this commitment to living chastely, that shouldn’t be an impediment at all to taking part in a retreat or any kind of other spiritual practice. Now, is the priest who said this, Vince, the same priest you spoke with about coming into the Church in the first place, or a different priest?
Caller: No, actually, it’s not. Since I came into the Church, there has been a changing of the guard, so to speak, so yeah, the priest that has told me that I can’t go to the Cursillo movement is a different priest than the one who said that I could come into the Church under the condition of chastity.
Trent: It reminds me of what happened to the Israelites in the Exodus. It says in the book of Exodus, you know, Joseph, a Hebrew, saved Egypt, and all the Jews were welcome to be there, and the book of Exodus says, well, then there was a new Pharaoh that came into town who didn’t know Joseph, and then everything fell apart for the Hebrews after that and they were enslaved. So here’s another priest that’s come along and may not be as familiar with your situation, you know, so I would recommend stay living the chaste, moral life you’re living, and understand that in living this life, the devil is going to throw all kinds of temptations at you, including temptations to be frustrated or want to give that up, through other Catholics who are not understanding, so I pray that you don’t give in to that temptation.
And to find a resolution here, you may want to appeal to go to maybe a larger regional director for the Cursillo movement, or a representative from the diocese, from the office of marriage and family, for example, in your own diocese, to go one rung up and say, “Hey, here’s my situation, I really want to do this, and the person involved here isn’t understanding. Can you help me?” It’s just similar to how we would resolve an issue anywhere else. That might be what I would recommend, but I’d also recommend to keep praying and stay strong in the face of temptations like these, to want to kind of give up in frustration, so do you see what I’m saying here?
Caller: I do. And you have been helpful, and you’ve given me a resource and I so much appreciate it, and I listen to the show often, a Catholic channel every day basically, and it has been very helpful and I appreciate you, Trent, thank you so much.
Trent: No problem. Stay strong, God bless, my friend Vince, have a good one.