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When Confronted with Gossip

Question:

How do I respond or what do I do, without being disrespectful, to avoid an elderly person who is gossiping?

Answer:

You should always respect your elders, and anyone for that matter, and part of that respect is gently reminding this person to avoid gossip. Perhaps what he (or she) is saying is true. Even so, humbly ask the person if what’s being said is going to edify the person about whom he’s talking or instead lead others to speak of and treat the person in a disrespectful way (see CCC 2477, 2479).

Or you could gently assert that you love and respect him, but what he’s saying about a person’s faults and failings to people who didn’t know about them is needlessly going to harm that person in the eyes of others.

Legitimate constructive criticism is another matter. That takes place when there is a legitimate concern about someone, and people who aware of the person’s problem talk in the hope of correcting that problem; and that could include informing law enforcement officials so that the problem can be properly rectified, which might include a person’s arrest.

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