Question:
Answer:
First, based on the nature of your question, I infer that you are not speaking about a spouse or your own children, but rather your family of origin. You’re certainly not obligated to subject yourself to abuse, including from family members. We should pray for those who have abused us (see Matt. 5:44), including our parents, and maintain communication with them, if possible and including to give them a lovingly faithful Catholic witness. On the other hand, if communication inevitably leads to abuse of one sort or another, including to children for whom you are responsible, it is best for your well-being—as well as your dependents—to keep a safe distance long-term from abusive family members.
In making a judgment about whether to have any communication with one’s abusive family members, and potentially how much communication, a Catholic should consult a faithful priest confidante as well as likely a licensed therapist who is a faithful Catholic—or, at the very least, a therapist respectful of his Catholic faith. As we note in our mental health tract, we recommend that you consider contacting Dr. Gregory Popcak and his team at the Pastoral Solutions Institute, who might at least be able to give you a referral; and/or visit CatholicTherapist.com. Your diocesan Catholic Charities department might also have staff counselors you could consult.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) provides additional counsel, specifically regarding children to their parents, and the moral principles expressed can be applied to other types of family relationships:
As long as a child lives at home with his parents, the child should obey his parents in all that they ask of him when it is for his good or that of the family . . . But if a child is convinced in conscience that it would be morally wrong to obey a particular order, he must not do so . . . Obedience toward parents ceases with the emancipation of the children; not so respect, which is always owed to them. (CCC 2217)