I wish I had a nickel for every time someone has said to me, “That was not very Christlike.” This response usually comes after someone is upset by my being firm and honest. The implication is that Jesus was a cuddly, soft-hearted nice guy who was always smiling, always accepting, always with kind words of affirmation. In short, he was nice.
In America, we are known to be relatively polite and courteous, except maybe if you live in New York City. In contrast to much of the world, we tend to be very polite, genteel, gracious, and nice. Tour guides in other countries will tell you that Americans are the nicest people and their favorite groups to guide. We transfer our niceness onto Jesus and assume that he was a lot like us.
When we study the New Testament, especially the Gospels, what do we find? First, let’s discuss what we don’t find. The word nice is never found in the Bible. It is a very popular word in conversation today, but it has not always been so. With its current meaning of giving pleasure, agreeable, good-natured, or kind, it has existed only since the eighteenth century. The origins of the word are fascinating. According to Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, “Middle English, foolish, wanton, from Anglo-French, silly, simple, from Latin nescius ignorant, from nescire not to know.” Its current meaning of socially acceptable, well bred, polite, or kind is only from recent years.
Nice is often used as a synonym for loving and kind, as in “That is nice of you to say. You are a very loving person.” But are “love” and “nice” interchangeable, especially in a biblical context?
The English word love in its various forms is found 578 times in the Bible. Jesus uses the word at least fifty times in the Gospels. Love is one of three theological virtues: “So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love” (1 Cor. 13:13). We know that God is love (1 John 4:8), and Jesus, being God in human form, was the most loving human to walk the earth.
Love can be consoling, forgiving, gentle, and warm. One who loves puts the other person first and often makes that person feel special and accepted. The love of a mother for her child is a perfect example of such love—both caring and nurturing. The love and affection of a newly married couple fill us with joy and warm feelings.
However, love does not always equate to nice. Though Jesus speaks of love fifty times, he never speaks of niceness in its modern sense.
We can ask the question, “Was Jesus nice?”
Jesus was always loving, but he was not always nice, as we Americans define niceness. There is such a thing as “tough love.” It is the kind of love that cares enough to be honest, to confront, to discipline, to cause temporary pain to bring about eternal glory. On the surface, “tough love” does not always appear to be nice. While being disciplined out of love, a badly-behaved child may blurt out, “You are not very nice!” Speaking firmly to a belligerent teenager may get the response, “Jesus would never be mean like you are!”
Jesus was not always cozy and cuddly. Here is just one example: Jesus spoke very harshly to his fellow Jews. People today might consider it rude, disturbing, unkind.
Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within they are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness. So you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but within you are full of hypocrisy and iniquity. . . . You serpents, you brood of vipers, how are you to escape being sentenced to hell?” (Matt. 23:27, 28, 33).
Ouch! It doesn’t sound very kind and courteous—not very thoughtful or nice! Yet they deserved it, and he spoke justly—and ultimately out of love, with the goal of repentance and educating the general population on acceptable and unacceptable moral conduct. The Jewish leaders were offending God by their hypocrisy, and Jesus was loving enough to say it how it is.
There is a shocking story recorded in all four Gospels, and it may have actually happened on two separate occasions. Imagine arriving at the Temple in Jerusalem one day to pray. It is a typical day in the courtyard . . . when suddenly, a man bursts onto the scene with a whip and begins to disrupt everything. Shouting and tension fill the air. Shocked, you run over to see what this commotion is all about. The man is yelling as his whip whistles through the air. He is flipping over tables and tossing the merchants’ coins on the ground. Pigeons fill the air as he shouts, “Take these things away!”
Everyone is shocked at this rude and disruptive conduct. This was completely unacceptable social behavior. He was inconsiderate and bad-tempered to lash people with a whip. Folks ran in fear! Imagine if the legacy media had been there! The headlines would be shocking.
This wasn’t just some wild man. This was Jesus. He was red in the face and glaring at the crowd. It certainly didn’t appear very “Christlike.” He was not being nice at all!
So maybe there is more to “WWJD” (What Would Jesus Do?) than we’ve been led to believe. Perhaps we shouldn’t worry so much about being nice, being liked, acting as genteel Americans. Maybe we ought to be more honest and forthright about the things that really matter. Perhaps we should be more willing to hurt feelings, step on some toes, and practice tough love toward those in sin. Maybe we should be more Christlike.
In C.S. Lewis’s Chronicles of Narnia, Jesus is represented by Aslan the lion. The children love Aslan, but they never consider him tame. The dialogue is instructive.
“Aslan is a lion—the Lion, the great Lion.”
“Ooh” said Susan. “I’d thought he was a man. Is he quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion.” . . .
“Safe?” said Mr. Beaver. . . . “Who said anything about safe? ’Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”
Jesus is approachable and loving, but don’t ever consider him “tame” or too cuddly. He may not live up to our perception of nice. Jesus is God as well as man. He expressed the wrath and anger of God as well as the mercy and love of God. Even the “disciple whom Jesus loved” was afraid when he saw the glorified Christ: “When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. But he laid his right hand on me, saying, “Fear not, I am the first and the last.” (Rev. 1:17).
Many of us have sung the old hymn, “What a friend we have in Jesus,” but we must remember that Jesus is not here just to be nice or simply our amiable friend. He is God, and his goal is to make us holy. Sometimes, that requires discipline. In Hebrews, we read, “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives” (12:5-6).
Love should permeate our relationships with others, not niceness. And sometimes love is tough. If we ever wonder just what qualities we should have as Christians, St. Paul gives us a good place to start. “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” And we should always “speak the truth in love” (Eph. 4:15).
So was Jesus nice? Actually, that is the wrong question. The real question is, was Jesus loving? Did he love us enough to tell us the truth and require us to be holy?