In this episode Trent examines the problem of women oversharing on sites like Tik Tok.

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Transcript:

Women, Please Stop Doing This

I have to spend a lot of time on the internet for my job, and there’s one genre of video I come across that I wish would go away forever: sharing inappropriate personal information, especially on TikTok, which is something that is almost always a female behavior.

So in today’s episode, we’ll talk about this, as well as the advice Pope Leo XIV has given us related to social media use—especially on something like TikTok, which, as we’ll see, encourages users to do things they often later regret because those actions promote more user engagement on the platform.

For example, one of the worst things I see on this platform are women who use TikTok to criticize their husbands to total strangers.

Here’s one example that went viral recently:

Clip:

“It makes me psychotically angry when my husband Chris takes naps or relaxes on the couch during the day.”

“I’m doing something, so now I have to continue doing what I’m doing and allocate mental load toward whatever stupid question you’re asking.”

“He married me because he loved me. He didn’t marry me because he liked my hair. Weird. Also, he does not get to tell me what to do with my makeup, my hair, how I dress. Like, no. No.

“I might ask his opinion, but most of the time I’m probably not going to listen to his opinion on any of it.”

I understand venting frustration to a close relative, or maybe a single friend who commands enough respect from you that they can tell you when you’re wrong.

But it is so insanely disrespectful to broadcast the details of your private spousal disagreements to millions of people on the internet.

Even if a husband is at fault in whatever disagreement you had, that’s nobody else’s business.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church says detraction happens when someone:

“Without objectively valid reason, discloses another’s faults and failings to persons who did not know them.”

And:

“Detraction and calumny destroy the reputation and honor of one’s neighbor. Honor is the social witness given to human dignity, and everyone enjoys a natural right to the honor of his name and reputation and to respect. Thus, detraction and calumny offend against the virtues of justice and charity.”

Turning Children Into Content

But even worse than badmouthing your husband is when moms turn their kids into content.

You can see this in TikToks where mothers film their children’s tantrums for content on their channels.

People magazine even covered a viral video about a four-year-old girl who acted out and then laughed when she saw her mom filming it.

The American Psychiatric Association calls this “sharenting” and even references “a video of a temper tantrum viewed by college admission committees years later.”

And some of the stuff on TikTok is disgusting, like the poop prank where parents sit on the toilet, ask their child to hand them toilet paper, and then secretly put something brown, like chocolate pudding, on the child’s arm and film the kid’s horrified reaction.

Clip:

“Stop it. Get some help.”

I’m going to be blunt: this is exploitation.

It’s colossally unfair to young children who can’t consent to being put on the internet.

It’s like how child stars on channels like Nickelodeon were put in dangerous situations with adults so that the adults could profit off them, as chronicled in the excellent documentary Quiet on Set: The Dark Side of Kids TV.

That’s why I didn’t mind when this social media mom got her comeuppance after she coached her crying child to get attention in a livestream about their sick puppy.

Plot twist: it turns out the mom was the real sick puppy.

She then left in the following clip of herself coaching the child for the thumbnail:

Clip:

“So if you could pray for us, we appreciate it. I love you guys. Can I come closer for the closer?”

“Act like you’re crying. Great.”

Life Before Everything Was Content

This is why I’ll always be sadly—and even sickly—nostalgic for life before 2007, when the iPhone was created and social media video-sharing websites began to gain traction.

Before that time, especially in the ’90s but also in the very early 2000s, there was a comfort and safety in knowing that your life would stay within a close geographic circle and, with rare exceptions, not be broadcast to everyone.

Aside from Star Wars Kid, you might only have your embarrassing moments end up on a VHS tape sent to America’s Funniest Home Videos, which I will allow.

One, because I will always stan for Danny Tanner.

And two, the show was less about humiliating children and more about showing dads getting hit in the crotch.

Why TikTok Encourages Oversharing

So why do women post embarrassing stuff on TikTok today?

Like Facebook and Instagram before it, social media like TikTok capitalizes on users getting addicted to dopamine rushes that come from content being liked and praised by other users.

This puts them on a kind of treadmill where they feel a need to keep posting more alluring and shocking content in order to continue getting those highs from likes and shares.

A 2024 brain study found that greater short-form-video addiction tendency was associated with weaker executive attention and control and lower self-control.

Other studies found that users suffer greater cognitive fatigue, so that once you scroll enough and want attention, you’re more likely to post something you regret because you’re literally not thinking straight.

And a review of 26 studies found that frequent TikTok use was associated with increased anxiety and depression symptoms, especially among younger users and women.

There’s even an entire master’s thesis on the issue of oversharing called Loose Lips Sink Ships: Investigating the Phenomenon of Trauma Dumping on TikTok and Its Effects.

Part of this may be coming from what has been called the loneliness crisis.

The American Psychological Association explored this and found that, compared with a decade ago, young people are four or five times more likely to have no friends at all.

This can lead people to create pseudo-friendships with others on the internet and overvalue the immediate positive feedback these groups of strangers provide.

Pope Leo XIV spoke about this at the 2025 Jubilee Vigil, where he said:

“Our relationships become confused, restless or unstable. Furthermore, as you know, today there are algorithms that tell us what we should watch, what we should think, and who our friends should be.

“And so our relationships become confusing, sometimes anxious. When a tool controls someone, that person becomes a tool: a commodity on the market and, in turn, a piece of merchandise.

“Only genuine relationships and stable connections can build good lives.”

In other words, if you don’t pay for a product online, then you are the online product.

And that is what happens when women use the free services on TikTok like it’s some kind of diary or private emotional support group.

And this is especially true when they forget the cardinal rule of online behavior:

The internet is forever.

When Public Content Gets Reposted

Now, in some ways, I’m grateful for this.

In 2021, Chaya Raichik founded Libs of TikTok with the goal of simply exposing the absolute insanity of liberals on the platform who were celebrating degeneracy and promoting insane behavior, including behavior that was meant to indoctrinate children in public schools.

What’s hilarious is that Raichik was accused of promoting violence against these groups when all she did was repost information they had already made public.

She was doing what Paul recommends in his letter to the Ephesians:

“Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.”
—Ephesians 5:11

These liberal influencers took for granted that what they shared would only be seen in their affirming corner of the internet.

They didn’t realize the backlash that would come from their perverted reality being openly shared to everyone.

But in many cases, what’s being exposed is not a grave evil that society needs to stop.

Sometimes it’s just personal squabbles between a husband and wife that have no business outside the home.

Or it’s tearful confessions that, once again, strangers shouldn’t know about.

Indeed, there are countless videos of women tearfully explaining their difficulties raising children or finding men to marry—and especially the genre of raising children while trying to find a man to marry—that have been reposted on manosphere channels whose audiences simply mock them.

And yes, some of these women probably made poor decisions that contributed to their current misery.

But you don’t need to kick people when they’re down, especially if they’re not public figures on the internet proclaiming an evil message, but average people who foolishly used the internet like a diary or support group.

Some of them just want connection from other people.

But others think they’re going to become famous, like Reesa Teesa, who became an internet celebrity with endorsement deals after posting over 50 TikToks complaining about her husband that ended up getting 400 million views.

When Oversharing Destroys Lives

In many cases, the rush to feed the algorithm juicy content you can get famous from actually destroys a person’s life.

You can see this in nurses at Emory University Hospital who were fired after mocking maternity-care patients on TikTok.

And in 2024, a substitute teacher was fired after filming students on her first day at school so she could make content about them.

These kinds of incidents happen because, as I noted earlier, short-form video-sharing content makes people more likely to make impulsive, poorly thought-out decisions like sharing stuff you absolutely should not share.

Or it encourages you to sidestep the critical-thinking part of your brain and believe absolutely stupid stuff because you see a bunch of other people believing stupid stuff.

Like the insane TikTok conspiracy theory that Patrick Clancy murdered his children, not Lindsay, and people who believe he pulled this off by pretending to be the nanny in the home, Mrs. Doubtfire-style.

Catholics Should Set a Better Example

I would also encourage people with online Catholic platforms to set an example when it comes to the problem of oversharing and sharing what your children do.

I love creating episodes that help people come to know Christ and his Church.

I don’t consider what I make here at the Counsel of Trent “content.”

It’s art.

It’s art that I pray God will use to build up his kingdom.

And because of that, I don’t have to play the social media game to get attention by constantly posting personal information about myself and my family to feed some algorithm’s content treadmill.

And what really helps me do that is your support for as little as $5 a month at TrentHornPodcast.com.

If you could partner with me to help create works that edify rather than stupefy, I would greatly appreciate it.

Finally, I’d like to leave you with this advice from Pope Leo XIV that he offered in commemoration of St. Carlo Acutis, the first millennial saint, who was known for his piety and his desire to use the internet to share the Faith through things like his online collections of Eucharistic miracles.

The Pope said:

“Let us be inspired by the example of Saint Carlo Acutis: he shows us how to keep Christ at the centre at all times, even when using technology.

“Taking him as a model, I advise you to use social media and artificial intelligence well, employing these tools in a moderate and disciplined way, as they can plunge us into an unreal world, in which the ephemeral, mere appearances and deception end up taking the place of true values and what really matters.”

Thank you all so much for watching.

If you want more of my thoughts on online internet media use, check out the episodes linked below.

And I hope you have a very blessed day.