Audio only:
In this episode Trent’s wife Laura joins him to discuss life one year after her brain surgery.
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Transcript:
00:00:00:03 - 00:00:15:25
Everyone, welcome to the Council of Trent. Today I have a very, very special guest with us, Mrs. Laura Horne, one year after her brain surgery. A lot of you have been asking about updates, how we’ve been doing. How’s Laura doing? So we thought we’d share with you. It’s been one year since her brain surgery. And yeah, I want to share that with you.
00:00:15:25 - 00:00:36:15
And we also got a lot of great questions from our patrons at Trent Horne Podcast. So we’re going to answer those. If you want to keep supporting the podcast, you want to help us keep it sponsor free, then please consider supporting us at Trent Horne Podcast. So Laura welcome back. Hey, thanks. Proof of life. This is our fourth time recording this.
00:00:36:19 - 00:00:56:13
It gets better and better with every time. I just keep on stuttering. Or I have a weird lisp that, like, pops in. I think that you’re too hard on yourself a lot of times. Like, we’ll go out and you will stumble over a word and be like, it’s because of my brain surgery and you get anxious about it, but it’s like I’m stuck.
00:00:56:16 - 00:01:20:19
It’s bad or like it’s back. It’s back, I know, why am I right? If if the cancer comes back and turns you into Fran Drescher, I will be totally okay. I will be okay. That was my favorite joke we made last. Yeah, no, I would I would be quite happy with that for for the rest of it, if they if they if you woke up from the surgery and you just talk like Fran Drescher, I’m like, all right, there could be things that are worse.
00:01:20:22 - 00:01:43:28
And greens actually singing is very hard for me. And it’s actually a loss for me to like, mourn that I have to sing so, so slowly. Like, I just want to do The Fresh Prince in. Yeah. West Philadelphia, born and raised on the playground is where when I spent my most of my days chillin or Lux and all cool and I’ll shoot no baseball.
00:01:44:04 - 00:02:06:10
Little win a couple of guys we’re up to no good. He was shooting baseball outside of the school. That is, you may not remember. That’s actually a mandela effect. A lot of people, you know, like Baron Stein and Baron Steyn bears people think he was shooting basketball. No, he was shooting baseball. That’s just a parallel universe. Luckily, my memory is so bad that I won’t have any recollection of.
00:02:06:13 - 00:02:29:16
But that makes it. Honestly, though, that has made it nice for us to hang out because we can watch the same movies over and over. You know, like I am living 51st states or whatever you’re like. You’re like Drew Barrymore. And then I wake up like, yeah, well, actually that kind of works. That kind of works. I think I vaguely resemble Adam Sandler for ethnic reasons, and you look like a little Drew Barrymore, so I think that could work out well.
00:02:29:16 - 00:02:45:04
And every day you wake up and I have to convince you to trick you into falling in love with me all over again. It’s a weird movie. Yeah, we’re talking about this. You know, those, you know, 51st dates that that’s in Sandler’s career where he only picked movies based on where they were filmed so he could go on vacation.
00:02:45:05 - 00:03:01:23
So he’s like, this script is absolute trash, and I want to go to Hawaii. No, like that was part of his career where it’s like he did that because it was in Hawaii. He did the one with Jennifer Aniston. It was at a resort grown up, so it was also at a resort. I don’t know if this is what if you want to cut this or not, but Trent will take events sometimes.
00:03:01:24 - 00:03:21:09
Like if it’s like North Dakota in January, he’s like Fred, like, hey, I just I just don’t want to, you know, my plane has iced up over on the wing. Oh, I get, I get, I get nervous, I get nervous, like, but you know, where planes never ice up and crash? It’s when they fly into Hawaii when they go to Hawaii in January.
00:03:21:10 - 00:03:39:10
Yeah. Never. I saw when he is like, oh, I got to travel. I’m sorry, I gotta go visit the office. And I’m like, did they ask you to visit the office in January? Because it’s in San Diego and I’m it’s good to have faith. It’s good to have FaceTime. I just want to get that FaceTime in there going a lot this winter.
00:03:39:17 - 00:04:04:17
Remote work is hard, Laura. It’s hard. All right. So it’s been it’s been a year. What are some of just the major updates that you just kind of want to share with people? Yeah I think we were really excited about our biopsy results back in August, when Trent shared on social media that it came back as like a low grade two, and it was like the best possible scenario, basically for brain cancer.
00:04:04:17 - 00:04:20:27
And then when we went back to my MRI follow up in January, I have to do an MRI every 3 to 4 months for the rest of my life, which is kind of a bummer. So thank you for your support because MRIs are very expensive. Shameless plug. I’m like, it’s just it’s just a magnet and an x ray.
00:04:20:28 - 00:04:38:15
I feel like, couldn’t I just look up on YouTube how to build one of those? I saw on a Facebook post on my great ENS Facebook page that these African kids built an MRI out of Coke bottles, and I’m sure that was not an AI. Like how hard could it be? Build a helicopter, build an MRI machine. But yeah, it is those MRI machines.
00:04:38:15 - 00:04:55:10
They yeah, they’re they’re amazing what they can they can see your whole body and just like see everything. Someone talk to me the other day. And they were like, actually I love him. Her eyes like I just fell asleep. And I was like, I have like, super bad trauma around MRI. So I’m like, you’re probably talking to the wrong person, fall asleep.
00:04:55:10 - 00:05:09:16
I’ve only done them a few times. Well, I’ve done them. Like when I tore my ACL, they put my leg in there to go and check it out. Oh I did. Oh, for the brain study, how we caught the tumor itself. Like you have to be in it for a long time. So I having my head in it.
00:05:09:17 - 00:05:31:24
They’re not relaxing. It’s just like. It’s just like. And you have the plastic headphones on. I asked for 80. So and so I have very faint 80s music with a bunch of, like, clanging around it. I ask for yacht rock because it reminds me of you. Oh, and I’m like, oh, this is terrible. This is terrible music. It’s terrible.
00:05:31:27 - 00:05:54:21
You’re like me. No wonder I hate him. What is the music you would want? Would you, would you want to just like. Taylor 24/7? No, I really don’t like Taylor after she went political, but probably, I don’t know. This is embarrassing. Like Backstreet Boys, there is nothing. There’s. Why is there any. There’s nothing. If I had to be in an MRI machine, those the Backstreet Boys would definitely cheer me of backstreets back.
00:05:54:22 - 00:06:14:03
All right. Down. No, no, not that we haven’t listened to that. A bunch of the car that I love. The kids now like that music. So having an excuse to to listen to it. All right. So yeah. So the MRIs so my so my second MRI that I had post-op was in January and the the doctor was far less optimistic about that one.
00:06:14:03 - 00:06:40:17
It didn’t show. It didn’t. I know gosh I know. Yeah. It didn’t show signs of regrowth. But she just said basically there is probably close to 100% like 99% chance that it’ll grow back. And so I was like, so you’re saying there’s a chance? Samsonite. Of course. Yeah. It’s like you can’t just give us false hope. It was like she was so positive when she came back with my biopsy results.
00:06:40:17 - 00:06:58:03
And then and then for some reason, I don’t know if there was like a change in the imaging. But she said there wasn’t a change in the imaging. She just said there was no such thing as an ex brain cancer patient. Like, you will always have a brain. You always have brain cancer, basically. Oh, that’s like there’s no such thing as a former marine.
00:06:58:03 - 00:07:18:22
Those 65 year old marine veterans aren’t getting sent out to Iraq. That’s just that’s just something they say, I don’t I don’t think it’s coming back. And I am firmly committed to that. Yeah, I, I tell people that it’s like when you’re in the car with your kids, but there’s a monster chasing you and you’re like trying to play car games with your kids to, like, distract them.
00:07:18:22 - 00:07:40:25
That’s basically where I’m at right now. It’s just a lot like every moment has been hard, but it is easing up, I think as like time passes. But I, I think that the mental load of like, when am I going to have to do this again? Because I tell everybody I could do this once. But when she said that, I’m probably going to have to do this again in my lifetime, I’m like, never mind.
00:07:40:25 - 00:07:57:07
And then some people are like, well, you could get hit by a bus, you could get hit by a car. And I’m like, I wish I could get hit by a car like it’s my worst, right? You know what’s funny, though? You’re you’re still scared of flying, though. Yeah, yeah. Even though you’re, like, that would be such a better way to go.
00:07:57:08 - 00:08:17:04
I really hate heights. So just some. Yeah, some, like an image of me dying, like, it’s just. I really think on planes, just in case they crash. They should have, like, last pictures, like when we go on Space Mountain and it takes a picture of you like that is. That is the face you made. So now we know what you’re going to be like.
00:08:17:05 - 00:08:34:10
It’s just the same. It’s just the same face. Like over. No. You’ve made progress. We’re going to get you back. We’ll get you back on the in credit coaster. You know you’ll you’ll conquer this fear. The tumor won’t come back. You’re going to climb Mount Everest even without using your legs like those Paralympians do. Yeah, I think some people are like, oh, you can do anything after this.
00:08:34:10 - 00:08:56:10
And I’m like, no, I don’t want to, like, this was my heart in my life do anything. I take a nap every day. What do you mean, do everything? Which, by the way, I am supremely jelly of that. So my. Yeah. The the problem I had post-op I had a lot of problems for the topic, but but one of the main things that was really traumatic for me was I had tremendous insomnia.
00:08:56:10 - 00:09:32:02
So around January, so that that same part like around the same time period around that appointment is also when I just was like struggling really bad with depression. I was on a medication post-op, which it’s really hard for me to talk about. I’ll start stuttering just because it’s like kind of traumatic. But I was on a medication called Capra and it just I thought that it I think that it did kind of change my neurochemistry, basically, and gave me tremendous depression and severe.
00:09:32:07 - 00:09:45:24
Well, they were worried about seizures because you went in, you had signs of a seizure, like in the first few weeks after, like I saw your face drooping. We had to go to the hospital. And that was when I had the fright of my life. Like she gets loaded into the ambulance. I drive to the hospital to meet her.
00:09:45:24 - 00:10:07:23
They’re like, which room is my wife? And like, oh, she’s in room D for whatever. And I go in the room and it’s totally empty. There’s no bed. And this guy walks in in a suit and he’s like, Mr. Horne, I’m. I’m the hospital chaplain. And I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but your wife may have had a seizure and was brought in to be examined, like I know she thought.
00:10:07:24 - 00:10:26:01
I know that that’s why he had his mom with you. Why would you say it like that? But, like, I was like, I’m glad he wasn’t like, you may want to sit down, but he was like, I’m so sorry to have. And I was like, why are you here? He’s like, well, whenever he’s like, whenever there’s a possible stroke patient they send me and I’m like, the last person you want to see is the chaplain at the hospital.
00:10:26:01 - 00:10:43:08
So. So she went in and they put her on Capra because they were worried like, you know, if you have a stroke or a seizure or something like that. But I feel like it kind of did more harm, like we had to get you off that as soon as possible. I, I pulled myself off of that medication, which obviously talk to your doctor or whatever, but I definitely wanted to jump out of a window on that medication.
00:10:43:08 - 00:11:03:19
And I am not doing I do not legally. We cannot give medical advice, but just use essential oils instead. And if you don’t have essential oils, just like squeeze bath lotion, really, really hard and what you get from it, dab it on your face. Cure anything, add a little Himalayan salt. Cancel by by before you know it, take that big Pharma.
00:11:03:19 - 00:11:26:07
And if you do follow this advice, you guys send us 50 bucks. By the way. Just, you know, be cool about it. Just ignore the rash. It’ll be fine. That shows it’s working. It’s the toxins are being removed. So. So I found a dog. So someone asked me, actually, one of your patrons ask me, is there anything that I did before my surgery that was helpful to my recovery?
00:11:26:07 - 00:11:55:28
And I would say probably not, just because I thought it would be so much easier than it was. So I don’t think that I could have, like, prepared myself. But what I, what I would have done is find a piece because I didn’t even have a I have physician. I didn’t even have a because I didn’t even I was never sick and so so that and then I would have gotten a cleaning lady because we never had a cleaning lady.
00:11:56:00 - 00:12:14:08
So those are the two things that I wish that I would have had, like lined up. So but I did find a really good PCP and she prescribed me something called low dose and ultrasound. And it’s not an antidepressant. It’s like it’s it’s an anti-inflammatory and it’s like an immune boosting drug. It’s used a lot of times for autoimmune disorders.
00:12:14:14 - 00:12:37:22
But it it calms your glial cells. And that has been very, very helpful obviously since I had a glioma. Yeah. It’s been really, really helpful for my recovery. She said. It’s not forever. I know there’s like a really a stigma around like antidepressants or needing medication, but I actually feel like that that drug saved my life because every single thought that I had was about death.
00:12:37:22 - 00:12:55:22
And and people were like, aren’t you so glad that you’re alive and able to, like, be with your kids? And what are you grateful for? And I’m like, nothing. Like, I just want to lay down and die. Well, I mean, we’re not we’re not just souls, you know, imprisoned in bodies like our bodies do have an effect on our souls.
00:12:55:22 - 00:13:16:01
And people don’t understand that, that if you have chemistry off in your off miss balanced in your brain. I think a lot of times Andy, depressants might be like over prescribed or some medications over prescribed, but if there is something mis balanced in your brain, it will affect your thoughts. But I’m so grateful that she didn’t put me on an antidepressant, because Capra is actually like it’s related to antipsychotics.
00:13:16:01 - 00:13:36:28
So I was very hesitant to go onto an antidepressant, but I was so blue that I was like, I am not able to function and raise my children. And I wasn’t sleeping. Half my hair fell out post-op, like just from just the inflammation and the trauma of it all. And so, so I was really grateful to find that deal that she that she knew what she was talking about basically.
00:13:36:28 - 00:13:53:16
So so that was kind of like a turning point for me. I would say after the first of the year, people, when they were like, I’m so glad to see you feeling better. And I’m like, do you have time? And a couch for me to lay down and tell you my story because I am not feeling well, and then and then and then dig it out.
00:13:53:18 - 00:14:11:14
But yeah, low dose, no tricks don’t help my sleep. And that was like a tremendous turning point where, like, I was able to just sleep a little bit, at least, because I really could only sleep like probably that was I thought you would be knocked four hours a night. The first, like bit of it. I thought you’d be knocked out like an infant.
00:14:11:14 - 00:14:24:10
We didn’t have the kids at home. I thought I would, like, get a head on work and you would sleep for like, 12 hours a day, and I would just be at the house by myself. Nope. Good. And watch TV. I was just playing charades with you. I remember, like, pacing around the block late at night. You were shuffling?
00:14:24:11 - 00:14:45:16
No, you were the first two weeks. And you, you’ve run five KS now. You know, you’re you’re walking around theme parks doing, like, 20 miles a day. I remember way slower. No, but when we. Oh, when we first started, though, you were literally shuffling like a 70 year old lady down the street. Like I wanted to get, like, a walk on a walker when you wanted it.
00:14:45:17 - 00:15:03:23
Whatever. And I can keep up with you. You’ve always. You’ve always bested me at walking. Like I’m always like you’ve always out walked me because you’re a cross-country runner. But you’ve. Although with insomnia that was hard that you couldn’t sleep because you’ve, you’ve always been a bit concerned about sleep. That wasn’t long before the surgery. Anxiety around sleep because I had insomnia as a kid.
00:15:03:24 - 00:15:26:17
Oh, I remember even when we lived in our apartments, I’d have to go and police say good sleep. He has a brain tumor. Until it doesn’t. Do I wear anything? Said the wife. I can’t sleep, get sent out, I get sent out. Look it. If he left it clipped this so bad. If he has anything to say to me, he can come to my.
00:15:26:24 - 00:15:51:06
He can come to my MMA gym where I train. He can say it to my face. So. But yeah, no, that was something you were always concerned about. And then and now it like went on overdrive. But I think we’re getting getting that together back back into our groove for sure. I think it’s just like that constant cloud that is hard and just yeah, just there are just permanent effects, obviously, of having part of your brain removed.
00:15:51:06 - 00:16:09:25
Probably. Yeah. I do have a friend that had my type of tumor and she was diagnosed and pretty sure is at 13 and now she’s 60. So that gives me like tremendous hope. She’s a nurse. She’s but she, she, she says that she still has a facts like she still has seizures and you know, so you haven’t had anything like that.
00:16:09:26 - 00:16:25:15
So I feel like it’ll I think it’ll be different. But so that’s where I am medically. Okay. Do you want to go into questions or is there anything else you that was speaking to your heart or speaking to you I really wanted to share with people, or you want to just dive right in, look on your heart. What’s on your heart?
00:16:25:23 - 00:16:48:18
Your heart. Yeah. I think that there’s like a question that says like, have you had any angels like, like care for you? Not literal, I know, but like, metaphorically, like people that really, like, pulled through. It was a question that was asked. Yeah, I would say that probably our children have been the best. They handled it really well for little guys.
00:16:48:20 - 00:17:09:21
Yeah. And just my son Matthew was diagnosed with dyslexia maybe like two years ago. And when I did homeschool, we don’t homeschool anymore because of we’re just unable to right now. But they have a wonderful Catholic school. And actually one of the questions is, how are you handling raising your children during all this or educating your children?
00:17:09:23 - 00:17:28:13
I’m like, we hire this great tutor named Miss Fritz, and she comes every day in a school bus with Arnold and Keisha, and it’s magical. Upon the magic school bus, I see, I can’t now, I can’t remember the song. See? It’s not. You’re too hard on yourself. You’re like, I can’t remember this. It’s the tumor. I’m like, we’re just old.
00:17:28:18 - 00:17:48:07
You just can’t remember stuff. It’s a wild ride. Magic school bus. So. All right. So yeah. So we we’ve we’ve done our best, but their school has done really a lot to to help with that. I’m so grateful we’ve just you know and there’s people who step in. But honestly I feel like you’ve been you’ve been carrying the load quite well.
00:17:48:08 - 00:18:05:29
Being just a mom of three elementary age. Yeah. I think the hardest part of this recovery was that we did have children, but I think it was the best part of this recovery and that like, I think it would be a lot harder if we didn’t have something to distract us. So it was definitely like a double edged get the when you get the hugs from our youngest, you’re like, that can heal anything.
00:18:06:00 - 00:18:21:19
Oh, it’s something about that. I know. He’s just like when they’re when they’re the youngest. I think we’re still going to call on their affectionate nicknames well into high school and hopefully college. But yeah, it’s just it’s hard. Like children. It’s like they demand all if you, if you were just by yourself, it’s like I could just rest.
00:18:21:20 - 00:18:43:19
Yeah, but there could be a bit of an emptiness for, like, children give you like, oh, this is what I am healing for, for them. But one of the hardest parts for me was obviously relearning to talk. Everything, everything that I had to do was new. So like my first walk that I took, my first time going swimming, everything, the mental strain of like, can I do?
00:18:43:19 - 00:19:01:05
It is just very difficult. Especially can I take kids to this? Like the first I went to time, I went to Costco. I was very Disney dizzy. Like I still get dizzy. And you’re right, they can. Can they just have signs when I go to target when I go to Walmart? But I know, I know it’s to get you to wander and it works.
00:19:01:05 - 00:19:19:25
I know it’s no. Trent is like, yeah, talk about like being fast on his feet when he sees those samples. It’s like, okay, now he’s a runner and you’re allowed more than one. There’s they’re not. They don’t complain. Even if you take more than one economically, they still make a profit. Like when in Parks and Rec when she just takes the sample.
00:19:20:02 - 00:19:42:24
Can I have another? She’s like, oh, April. And just like throws them into the trash. No. If you go at the right time, like if I go at around like 1030, I can get a whole lunch done. Easy. Yeah. My kids if at anytime. Sorry, we’re dragging this out. It’s one of the side effects of the surgery. I know tangent my my Jima was on my left parietal lobe which is responsible for your speech, but it’s also responsible for attention.
00:19:42:24 - 00:20:00:12
So I feel like a lot of people were like Laura had ADHD and I’m like, no, I just had a tumor, which sounds it sounds about right. But anyway, so my son was diagnosed with dyslexia and so now he is in a great Catholic, Catholic school. And it’s just it’s a classical school and we just love it so much.
00:20:00:12 - 00:20:26:13
But my kids help me relearn to speak, and it was just such a humbling experience. Like I, I gave my children their names, we gave them their names, and then they had to reteach me how to say those names. Like every time they say the phrase brush your teeth like Matthew, Matthew, Matthew taught me how to say that.
00:20:26:15 - 00:21:00:29
So one of the things that was very hard for me, actually, as a mother, was that I’m not able to read aloud, and that was like it was it was a death. And it’s so much I can read fine in my brain, but I can’t read out loud. And it’s so much harder than talking. And it was such a different experience because when I was homeschooling, I was very hard on Matthew for not being able to read, and I thought that, like, he wasn’t trying hard enough or like that he was being lazy and I was really harmful in my my words towards him.
00:21:01:01 - 00:21:16:12
And then when he was diagnosed with dyslexia, obviously that’s a better it’s a different situation. That was like years ago because he’s older and he reads just great. But but during the period when all kids are learning to read. But I was very mean and like I think like, well, why can’t it’s like, oh, why can’t you just just why aren’t you trying hard enough?
00:21:16:12 - 00:21:21:01
But now you’re in the position, you’re like, I’m trying as hard as I can. Like my brain just won’t let it. It just won’t do
00:21:21:06 - 00:21:37:09
he was the only one that was insanely patient with me when I had to read out loud and like, he was like, you’re doing such a good job, mom. And so it was just such a humbling moment that I’m so grateful for. It’s the same for both of you. Like, he reads very well now.
00:21:37:09 - 00:22:00:17
He’s highly intelligent and it’s just he just needed different skills in order to accomplish the same task. And it’s just the same for you. Going from not being able to read. We might be we’ll put a we’ll just put a clip in. Let’s put a clip in here. Now either of you reading or I know we have the clip of you just trying to say the alphabet so you can just see just see the difference.
00:22:00:19 - 00:22:42:13
Rose did go to the bar. Liam. Bell. Bella. Bella Bella Bella Bella. Bella to get down there. Did it, did it. Delhi. Dear dear dear. Links. Dear I don’t dancer’s dealings. Is it again? Dancers? Darlings. Darling. Sounds hard. Do go do go go to kick and to turn.
00:22:42:16 - 00:22:48:09
That word year dancers.
00:22:48:11 - 00:22:55:22
Please. Please. Okay, fine. Abby, you’re.
00:22:55:24 - 00:23:19:24
I’m gonna do it. Abby, you. How do I do it? I try it. A g f g h I j k l m n o p q I s t my double bets.
00:23:19:27 - 00:23:20:26
I did it.
00:23:20:29 - 00:23:31:13
So you’ve seen you’ve made a lot of progress. I think you should be really proud of that. And yeah. So do you want to go to some of the questions. Yeah that would be great. All right. So here’s our first one from our patrons.
00:23:31:18 - 00:23:52:00
I once again want to thank our patrons for their support. You’ve allowed the podcast to be possible also helps. I can’t go out and speak as much because Laura is still healing. So your support very tremendous. Consider supporting us to Trenton podcast. Com. Let’s take a look at the first question is from our Patreon named Alex, asking how did you educate and care for your children during this time?
00:29:23:25 - 00:29:47:05
I should have just put I didn’t. Kids are resilient. That’s the answer to that. I think at the end of my life, I will be able to say I did my very best during this time period. We were such a and so did my kids. Watch too much GV yes, like our moms too hard on themselves? Yes. But I was just I feel like everybody in our family was doing their absolute 100%.
00:29:47:07 - 00:30:08:10
Yeah, like at the cost of our own health. And honestly, you crank down on the TV way more than I do. You’re very I think you’re very disciplined at that. Love TV. No, I love them being exposed to a lost culture. Like I mourn that they did not grow up with SNICK Saturday night Nickelodeon like I did. So I would love for them to be able to have that.
00:30:08:11 - 00:30:30:02
Next one is from El Perk. It’s been a tough year, but here’s the real question when is too far? With Laura Horne coming back? Best Catholic channel by far your inspiration to me as a mother. Oh, that was really nice. Yeah, I think that this question goes with this question. So I’m going to answer this. Oh, does she have any new super or do you have any new superpowers?
00:30:30:02 - 00:30:51:25
And what about the channel? Yeah, I have a super lisp like I already discussed. Did I already discuss it or is that one of our previous records? Okay, right. We’ve record. We’ve tried about eight times. All right, take this. How does you having a list go with Too Far with Laura Horne? Okay. Really? I think a lot of people, like, want to put a bow on things and like, like, how did it.
00:30:51:26 - 00:31:11:23
How did it end up? And I think a lot of stories in our lives sometimes just don’t end how we want them to end. Like I thought that, for instance, my oncologist told me in one of my follow ups, like she has someone that like, reads so fast and she reads now 50 books a year. And that was not my experience.
00:31:11:23 - 00:31:34:11
I’m reading James and the Giant Peach, and that kid has a bum life, and it’s taken me five months to get through it, you know? So so I think like my since I’ve had to work so hard to get my life some semblance of my life back, like I have this memory of me like I’m, I’m having a seizure, I’m having a focal seizure.
00:31:34:11 - 00:31:58:09
And like, I’m trying to rest. So it goes away and my mom is making the kids lunch. And for the next day, and the kids are having a meltdown, and Trent has the stomach flu. And so he’s laying on the floor and like, like and I was like, I just want to vacuum my floors. Like, I think everybody, like once, like this triumphant ending to their suffering.
00:31:58:10 - 00:32:18:27
Like. And then I’m going to write a book about it, and then I’m going to start a podcast and bring hope to people. And I was like, I just want to vacuum. Like, truth is, I don’t have any super superpowers. In fact, I’m like worse than I was before. And that’s insanely humbling for me. No, but you’ve also you’ve also grown in patience.
00:32:18:27 - 00:32:38:11
And there’s other things you didn’t like doing before that you don’t do now. So I do think it’s a bit of a it’s a give and take for sure. Yeah. But I think sometimes like it’s like when a, when a child interrupts like, like they want the story to end and you’re like, well, if you would let me just finish talking then, then I’ll, I’ll tell you about it.
00:32:38:11 - 00:33:12:26
And like, people are just quick to know the lesson when it hasn’t, when it hasn’t ended yet and like so that’s kind of where I am right now. Like I’m just so grateful that I get to vacuum and that I get to like, take my kids swimming because all of those things were so tremendous for me to get back that I think to like, want anything majorly, like more powerful beyond that would be unrealistic for me.
00:33:12:28 - 00:33:34:07
So it ties into the other question, like, would I ever do my channel? Probably not. I have ideas, and we really actually did discern me going back online. But but when I got diagnosed with cancer, I was like, I would like to. And I thought that it was a like a bad glioma. And I was like, why?
00:33:34:08 - 00:33:54:15
I like, I’m going to spend every moment with my children. Yeah. And then now that I have like a left by bad diagnosis, I don’t want to just like, throw those. Sorry. Sorry, kids. Yes, we’ve got content. Good. Now I have time. You know, like, if they’re getting old, they’re getting older. We won’t have. We won’t have as much time with them when they’re little.
00:33:54:21 - 00:34:14:02
Their teen years are approaching and and I’m fully in support of that. Here’s the next question from CBS. Did you get a handicap lacquered? No, but Cameron does. Must be nice having pots. Cameron I’m just kidding. I love Cameron’s is actually one of my best friends. It would not take offense of that at that. Hopefully, I don’t know.
00:34:14:03 - 00:34:30:04
We both have memory issues. We’ll both get both. Forget about it. That would be nice. I always see man everywhere I park, I’m always like, oh, there’s a spot handicapped. You know, when I was a kid, I thought that was a parking place for people at Big Butts Big. But oh, because they have the symbol. The. No, the symbol.
00:34:30:05 - 00:34:45:19
Look at that symbol. What is it like? Like, excuse me. Why doesn’t my mom get used? Right? Clearly. Okay, I’ll get this person. Why is that guy over there? That’s when I was a kid. I thought, oh, is that what that symbol is for? All right. No, but I think like 90% of people with brain cancer lose their jobs.
00:34:45:19 - 00:35:04:03
I’m pretty sure. Like. And so I asked, like, you know what’s nice about your job? You got unlimited security on that. One cannot be fired. It has been difficult for me knowing that I probably will never get. I don’t want to go back to work, but like it, like having the option. I don’t think that I would be intelligent enough to go back to work.
00:35:04:04 - 00:35:24:14
Like even as a waitress, they’re like, wow. And then I’d be like, sorry, I brain cancer. And they’re like, oh, never mind. Don’t worry about it. I’m like, wait, oh, it’s like how you say it’s my first day. It’s my first day. You’ve been working here for two years. Whatever. All people would love having you in there. And and I have met people who do some of these jobs and I’m like, how are you exactly working here again?
00:35:24:14 - 00:35:45:17
But it’s neither here nor there is from Noah. Hi, Laura. How is your view of suffering change this past year? What was the hardest period and what period was the the hardest for you? Love you guys so much so I do. Do you want to start? Oh the period. You know what is hardest for me. Oh I don’t know.
00:35:45:20 - 00:36:02:10
Probably just the periods or I felt like I did not have my strength to be able to help. Like when I got sick, like at the beginning of it or the period where I feel like time has passed. I think the hardest for me has been like, okay, well, I have to help with family and I have my own obligations.
00:36:02:10 - 00:36:22:04
And it’s like I have to, you know, I have to do two episodes a week and be like, well, you can take the time off. It’s like, YouTube is merciless. Yeah. You take time off, it punishes you and the algorithm and people would expect like, oh, you know, if I don’t do an episode, you don’t think of it right off the way, but it’s like or prepping for a debate, doing a debate, doing an interview.
00:36:22:04 - 00:36:39:09
And then like, if there’s problems at home and you need like extra help, like I want to be there for you, I think it’s the feeling of feeling like stretched thin. If I neglect other things, I don’t go to jiu jitsu or I, you know, don’t don’t do something like that. And then I feel worn down. I think it’s the feeling of stretch thin was the hardest part.
00:36:39:13 - 00:36:59:24
It’s also hard to your job is definitely mental. It’s mental in public like so it’s like so it’s hard is like if we have public. Yeah. If we have had like a rough time like Laura has an adverse reaction and everything’s falling apart and it’s, but then it’s like I have to do a debate or I have an episode to do, like I’m all falling apart and not feeling well.
00:36:59:24 - 00:37:13:18
Then it’s like, welcome to the Council of Trent. Room for air. Yeah, but you have to like, turn on. And I think that was the hardest. Yeah. It’s not like being like a surgeon. And you could just kill the guy. Nobody would know.
00:37:13:21 - 00:37:33:17
Whistling away. Listen to my punk rock music while you were just whistling The Price. That’s right. Was I doing price like, do do do do do do do do do. Don’t forget to spay and neuter your pets. So there you go. All right. So that was hard for me. It was hardest for you. Definitely the mental. Yeah. You would think I thought it was going to be physical.
00:37:33:17 - 00:37:47:03
We did not think the mental abuse. No. I was like ready to go. I think a lot of people were very discouraged when they saw me at the hospital like, whoa, this is way worse than we thought it was going to be, actually. And then I but I was totally fine. Like, I was like, this is kind of fun.
00:37:47:04 - 00:38:21:15
Like, I’m going to offer this up. And then when the depression hit. I was like, oh, that was this is not suffering, not the mobility, not even the speech, my friend. Yeah, the the speech has been insanely frustrating. But if you if you can have a good attitude of about something that it’s then it’s okay. But I did not have a good attitude about when like I, when my depression had and so and my priest friend that I spoke with Father Zack, he was like, you know, your body will prefer men physical suffering to to mental suffering.
00:38:21:15 - 00:38:44:20
That’s why then like like if I’m going through a really hard time mentally, my eye will twitch. Like, it’ll it’ll cause you to focus on something even more physical because, like, mental anguish is so tremendous to human beings. And that’s how I felt during my mental. I felt there’s a there is a song, I think it’s song 142 or something.
00:38:44:20 - 00:39:03:12
I don’t know, don’t quote me on it, but my, my soul is a prison and like and then the next phrase is let it be, let it out so I can sing your praise. And I just kept on saying like my soul is a prison. Like I feel like my soul is a prison right now. Well, that would be hard.
00:39:03:12 - 00:39:22:18
Because like if you have like, physical pain, I mean, people can still have debilitating physical pain that makes it difficult to be happy. But if a body part is hurting, you can kind of like, I don’t know, you can kind of isolate that from your own internal sense of happiness and be like, oh yeah, this hurts. But you know, I’m getting through that and you can like separate yourself from that pain.
00:39:22:18 - 00:39:45:04
But if the pain is depression and mental, it’s like you can’t really run away from it and like it is now. Everybody has depression and anxiety. So now like those, those words are so used that like it is very belittled. So that’s difficult when you’re like, oh, I’m depressed. People are like join the club. Like, right. Like this is triggering my anxiety.
00:39:45:04 - 00:40:06:14
I think you’re just talking about nervousness, which is something that all people accept, people whose brains are damaged and become like base jumpers. And, you know, there’s some people like, can’t see fear like you would actually like if you never felt nervous or anxious, you actually literally would have a brain disorder because you should feel that sometimes. But if it’s so debilitating, you can’t even, like function.
00:40:06:16 - 00:40:25:16
And it’s like that. That’s like the real issue there. So let’s take a look. We have another question here. Let’s go to this one by Eric. We prayed for you. Glad you’re doing better. We have three kids. How did you explain to your kids what happened to you and why God allows that? So how do we explain it to the kids?
00:40:25:17 - 00:40:51:19
Okay, well, first thank you for praying for us. Don’t stop or I will die. And no pressure. Right? When we explained it to our kids, I at first it was terrible. At first we set him them down and and we explained it first to our son Thomas, because he was just very curious about it. And he was very melancholic and wonderful and like, he just listens to all of us but doesn’t say anything.
00:40:51:20 - 00:41:14:28
And so he knew something was going on and we were like, well, you know, I do have a tumor, but praise the Lord. It’s not cancerous. And because it didn’t take up contrast at first. So my, my original neurologist told me that it was not cancerous. And so I was like, cause cancer is just really terrible and so many people die of it.
00:41:14:28 - 00:41:37:20
And like, I’m so grateful. And so I’ll just, you know, I don’t know. And then when it came back, it was the answer, like, never mind, cancer is great. Remember what we said before, I need you to just forget about all of that, kids. Just forget about it. It’s gonna be fine. No, I think that our kids actually have been really wonderful about this.
00:41:37:21 - 00:41:59:16
We are very honest with our children that we say all the time, everybody dies like, everybody dies. Like I even talk. I don’t know if I should say this or not. I even talk about like they’re like, well, would dad get remarried? And I’m like, he’s free to like, but it better not be this person. He’s three two.
00:41:59:16 - 00:42:15:28
And then there’s a lot of fine brands in the bottom. But he would always do like what’s best for you guys and you know, so anyway but so I think maybe I wouldn’t have to get remarried if you picked up your room. I know. Oh my gosh. Here’s what I did. I sat down, my kids sat down my kids.
00:42:15:28 - 00:42:34:03
And I was like, this is all your fault. We did not do that. We did not do that. Instead our instead our youngest, now our youngest. Like, he’s jumbled everything together and he tells people with five. He has four at the time. Yeah. He’s like so my mom had to go to the plaque to get her tumor removed.
00:42:34:03 - 00:42:50:26
But she’s doing a lot better. So now he does. For some reason, he associates the chiropractor with the brain surgeon because we still have go to the chiropractor. I got to go because of jujitsu. And then Laura goes because actually, she goes to get her skull redone. Because when they cut open your skull, it still leaves effects after a while.
00:42:50:27 - 00:43:05:11
I think a lot of people were wondering why I’m not bald. And I’m like, oh my gosh, Karen, we can’t just you can’t just ask people why they’re not bold. But yeah, well, she had a female neurosurgeon who was really nice about it and understood, like, no, we don’t need to shave your head. I’ll just do we can just do a part of it.
00:43:05:12 - 00:43:24:09
I’m just kidding. I’m totally fine with people asking why I’m not bald, but I. Yeah, they just shaved the incision. I had 25 staples, and. But it still hurts. It’s like it didn’t heal. Like there’s, like a divot where it healed and it actually really hurts. And so I go to a doctor that pushes it together. And he’s amazing.
00:43:24:10 - 00:43:44:21
Me Phillip. But don’t, don’t take his name because then I won’t be able to get an appointment to do. I should have said his name. Don’t worry. We’re going to go back through and probably clip names here and there. I there. So all right. So yeah. So but we, we said to them and they have handled it with great stride as children.
00:43:44:22 - 00:44:07:21
And I think that and they’re always praying for you. They’re always praying for other people we know who are struggling with cancer. I’m very impressed with their with their faith. Our oldest, he wants to alter serve any chance he gets, you know. So I think it’s been a good a good model for them. Let’s see here. How is your relationship with God evolved during this time?
00:44:07:24 - 00:44:27:03
Trent and I are going to have drastically different answers to this question. The first time I like saw a counselor. It’s yeah, that’s another thing that I would have had before too, is I would have gotten a good cancer before this experience. Get it all, get all the ducks in a row. Yeah, totally. But I did not have that at all.
00:44:27:03 - 00:44:49:04
And it’s very hard to find a good counselor. I just had a lot of PTSD and I would I really wanted to do like eMDR, CBT or something to help me retrain my brain. But I went to a counselor once and she was like, yeah, my experience with a cancer, like, just just never question God like. And I was like, next.
00:44:49:08 - 00:45:22:00
Like, that’s like not my experience at all. Wrong answer. Trent has been just like a he has a house built with stone, like I, I was like withstand like, but I was insanely mad at God. And I still am sometimes and frustrated and like, questioning his am on omnipotence and like and I think like the, the main takeaway I’ve gathered from this experience actually though is just that that’s okay.
00:45:22:01 - 00:45:59:18
Like that, like God can handle it and that he is a father and that it’s okay to have those questions. And a lot of people leave their faith because they have this, like this mystery, mistaken view that like you have, you can’t come to him with those big questions, if that makes sense, and that you can’t take your anger towards him like it’s I was really struggling with him because I was just so angry, like, and yeah, but I think, I think this experience has tamed me, but it still comes in in spurts.
00:45:59:18 - 00:46:19:19
For instance, our our power went out yesterday and, and even then, like, I was like, can nothing be easy? You know. And then I’m like to to out the power came back on seven minutes later. It was two hours and it was 105 degrees. That’s what I mean. I’m like, someone would be like, Lori, you have like like that’s like a privileged problem.
00:46:19:19 - 00:46:45:09
But I’m like, there is no such thing. Like, God wants to be like to like you, to come to him with big things and small things like, it’s like, so I don’t like he wants to do big things for your life. And I think that that is like that. That part has been tamed out of me, that my first reaction is not always sometimes like anger.
00:46:45:11 - 00:47:04:19
Oh, okay. You know, be funny. Like we go to God with our problems, like in prayer. It would be funny if we lived in a world where anytime we prayed, we like felt ourselves in the presence of God, but we were next to other people who are asking for things. And like we looked to the left and the right and like there, it’s like somebody in Africa and they ask you something and it’s like, what do you want?
00:47:04:21 - 00:47:25:17
Like, I’m good if my Erica come on. Because it’s like 79, it’s getting pretty uncomfortable. Then we hear it is like, please heal my child of dysentery. I was like, Lord, can you help my character in Oregon Trail not have dysentery? It’s really, really it’s really wrecking the scores I’m going for here. And I thought it was unfair.
00:47:25:18 - 00:47:46:04
My wagon caught on fire after I got 500 pounds of buffalo, five hunting trips, 100 pounds each, carried back to the wagon. I think sometimes though, like, I overreact because everything reminds me of cancer. So like when my error went out like it’s our air went out before my previous oncologist appointment, we have to we had to leave like anything that we were buying.
00:47:46:06 - 00:48:06:19
We went to the store to buy a globe, and she saw the Tropic of Cancer and she ran out of the store. Just ran out of the store, right out of there. I can’t be doing this. Just look at the Tropic of Capricorn instead. Focus on that or the Prime Meridian. That was a really, really smart joke. Doing doing the doing the best, doing the best thing I learned from you.
00:48:06:21 - 00:48:30:09
You’re super. Usually were smart with your little joke. I. I would not be able to point to Tropic of Cancer, but you could tell people anything about Alaska because we have watched about 87 episodes of Life Below Zero, yet lives. You know where you’ll get. You know, where Catholic is that city? It’s it’s in northern Alaska. So, you know, it’s it’s like Joey when he buys the when he buys the V episode.
00:48:30:10 - 00:48:38:19
Yeah. There you go. You remember that he buys the V Encyclopedia Vietnam. When we talk about Vietnam, you know, his war, we should really talk about Korea.
00:48:38:22 - 00:48:48:11
All right. Let’s see here. So yeah. So but I think that you. What about your, I don’t know if.
00:48:48:13 - 00:49:11:10
I think it’s all stayed pretty steady. I think what’s hard is like I don’t know, I think people’s relationship with God, a lot of it is going to be prejudiced a bit by their relationships with their own family and their own fathers. Never asked for anything from anyone. No, he takes care of it himself. That is that is a slight childhood wound that I am currently working through.
00:49:11:11 - 00:49:30:12
No. Because, like, I mean, your family is just, like, so amazing, like growing up. Like, they were always, like, covering things for you. And even now, still, they’ve been so helpful. Yeah. So, like, when God doesn’t take care of it. I’m like, but does my excuse me, God. My dad, if he was doing it, would do this. Okay, so why don’t you.
00:49:30:13 - 00:49:50:12
Whereas I had a little, I’ll say a little bit different of an upbringing. And so I just have much, much lower exec in fact, that’s honestly that is like the weakest part of my prayer life. A lot of times, like with prayer, you can divide prayer. We can divide prairie into four parts. If you want to remember this, there’s an acronym for it Acts.
00:49:50:13 - 00:50:23:21
Acts. Prayer is usually adoration, contrition, thanksgiving or supplication. So just adoring God just in prayer. We just adore how wonderful God is. Contrition, expressing sorrow for sin, thanksgiving, being thankful for how God, what God has given us. And then supplication which would be asking, you know God, please, please help me with this. And of the three of the four, the S is always feeling like, no, I don’t, I don’t need anything or like feeling like I can’t ask for anything, like I don’t ask and it doesn’t happen that I won’t be bummed about it, but it’s like, no, you’re free to ask God.
00:50:23:21 - 00:50:40:19
And the more we ask, our wills are aligned to them. Even if he says no, it’s still good for us. Our wills are more greatly aligned with him. But I’ve learned more in this experience, so I’ve just I cannot do it myself. And I have to ask can’t. Yeah. God and others I have tried. I, you know, I try to do things like, I can do it, I can take care of it, I can do it.
00:50:40:19 - 00:51:03:07
And then you break down. You can’t. So yeah, I have a very specific memory of me, like post-op laying down and like, I couldn’t even get up. And I was like, oh, this is what God means when it’s like total helplessness. Like, I literally cannot do anything without God healing me, like I cannot you cannot heal yourself. And so but I remember Trent, like pre-op.
00:51:03:07 - 00:51:14:15
I was like, well, you pray for me because you have not cashed in any of your prayers. Store them all up. I got all in the inventory.
00:51:14:17 - 00:51:39:03
Now I need just a tiny bit more. Little bit more. Lord, I’m in debt. Oh, let’s see, here’s the last one from Vanya relaying to prayer. Actually, especially, I guess, during your healing, how did you keep up your prayer life when your words are not there? Vanya also writes, PSU and Trent are relationship goals. Oh thank you. You should have seen some of our fights, but that’s what makes it.
00:51:39:03 - 00:52:01:29
That’s what makes it better. You. You can’t have a wonderful jambalaya without a little bit of spice. It was really. Yeah. It was a really a very intimate time, that is for sure. Like. Yeah, it was it has really been an experience. I would basically only. Well, you’ve told me well you’ve told me stories of like husbands. I think they were married.
00:52:02:05 - 00:52:18:11
Were they married like the husband who like his wife got brain cancer and he. Yeah. What a what a jackass. She had a sorry. You know what? I’m gonna I’m gonna judge. I’m gonna judge because I have because I have now been through the situation. But yeah, she. Yeah, she had a seizure. And so she went into the E.R., and she.
00:52:18:12 - 00:52:44:25
It turns out she had GBM, which is glioma. Scary. Stage four. So basically like fatal. Yeah. But she’s actually alive now. And it’s been close to nine years or over nine years. But her husband left her in the E.R.. And yeah, he was like, I can’t do this. And he bailed you for better. Or, like, I really wish they just, like, had a megaphone when you did the vows at your wedding.
00:52:44:28 - 00:53:02:08
Like, better or worse. Sickness and health, I think. Yeah. Though back to even that other question about, like, the superpower, like, I think a lot of people see like Saint trees or something and they’re like, oh yeah, the little way, but they don’t want to do it. Like. And that’s how I was. No judgment. That’s me. Like, yeah.
00:53:02:08 - 00:53:26:04
But like I want to like publicly speak on this or like, you know, help people or we, you know, so many marriages that are just like, completely crumbling and they’re all involved in ministry and like. Yeah. And so, like, you don’t you don’t want to do the little white not you like me. So but yeah, I don’t know what I was going I like it, I like it.
00:53:26:04 - 00:53:51:17
Judges. What do you think. Yeah, that vows just it’s just like you. You say it and then. But when it’s when it’s there, when it’s actually, you know, time it’s it’s really difficult. That’s the test and that’s what’s hard. I feel bad people who are in the dating scene now, it’s like the point of, I mean, the point of dating is supposed to be so that you pick someone you have, you never 100%, but you got a reasonable confidence they can fulfill the vows.
00:53:51:18 - 00:54:16:16
And so you test their character. What do their friends think of them? Where their family thinks of them? What’s their track record? And so it’s like, so now it’s just really hard to meet people and to sort that out. I’m really grateful. I feel like we both were able to see that in each other before. Hard to be on the receiving end of being like the the, the one that was not able to be the caregiver.
00:54:16:18 - 00:54:36:17
I well it’s maternal. You’re a, you know, wife and mother. You it’s also just insanely humbling and you feel like a burden most days. So it’s like you’re always asking and not able to give as much. Yeah, but I feel like though you should just there’s a bit of pride involved, like even saying like, no, don’t. It’s like, well that’s almost like prideful.
00:54:36:17 - 00:54:50:26
It’s like part of humility is like when you cannot do something, letting others care for you. Yeah. I have to do the same thing. When I think I have to do it all myself, it’s like, no, I can trust other people. Yeah. I told my friend Sarah, it actually is a regret of mine that I did not ask for more help during this time.
00:54:50:26 - 00:55:05:05
My my friends were amazing. They bought me, brought me meals for five months, but I did not let people in. And I wish that I. But what we do now though, is we’ve made a list of that. And now whenever you’re like, I feel a lump or I feel this pain in my abdomen, I’m like, let’s check it out.
00:55:05:06 - 00:55:23:25
If it was like another cancer, I’m like, I’m cashing it all. I know we’re going to go fund me. We’re we’re asking like like, well, we don’t we’ll be okay. But like if you got like, you know, I think it creates a hypochondria a little bit when you go through this. So now it’s like you’re like, oh, maybe I have this cancer, I have this other cancer.
00:55:23:25 - 00:55:46:19
I’m like, if you got a second cancer, you I mean, first I’d be like, you’d be like that wonderful Ford automobile that I’m like, I love it, but how does it start? I can’t believe it’s still going thousand miles. Soon as you hundred thousand like, oh, Ford fix or repair daily. But how does your ask? She asked about your prayer life at the beginning when your work.
00:55:46:19 - 00:56:15:25
Well, you had your words just insane to other people. Yeah, it was hard for me to like. Yeah, I have expressive aphasia. So it’s like I that’s people ask all the time, like, do you know what you want to say? And I’m like 100%. So that’s like the most frustrating part about all this. But but my, my prayer life has just been a lot more intimate, I think more so that intellectual, like I don’t have a great memory anymore, which is very humbling, but it is what it is.
00:56:15:25 - 00:56:45:10
And I know you can always remember when I’ve dropped the ball over ten years ago. Remember when you talked about your ex at one time? Pepperidge Farm remembers. So I have hope. I really do have hope. But yeah. So I think just like I asked Trent at the beginning, actually, when I had aphasia, I’m like old, like he understood everything that I was able to say, but I was like, do do a lot of saints just have like a more simple prayer life?
00:56:45:10 - 00:57:05:08
Because that’s how I feel like. I feel like it’s just a lot more simple, almost more relational, not like intellectual anymore. And he said, yes, like a lot of people were just like in tremendous amounts of suffering. They’re just like, well, I’m just more simple now. And that’s yeah, they just they just fix their eyes and just like an image of Jesus.
00:57:05:10 - 00:57:26:08
But it makes them focus on that. It is something to die to because I think, like, I’m around like a lot of, like intellectual people. I have a lot of really smart friends. I’m married to a genius like my family is all really smart. And so like, remember that the next time you mad at me, right? No. But you’re.
00:57:26:08 - 00:57:45:19
But I think this is a little bit like you. Once again, you’re holding yourself up to a an impossible standard that, like, you are very smart, like you even through the midst of all of this. And I feel bad about this, that like when you were like one of the hard things with health, healthcare is like you go through it and you have to pay all the bills.
00:57:45:19 - 00:58:03:24
And so it’s like, well, you are navigating bills, treatments, what doctors are recommending. Single one of them. Yeah. Yeah. And just like have to say no, I don’t have to pay for that or I’m not doing this. So you are handling it well while still being handicapped. Oh thank you. Yeah. It was itching for a compliment and I got one.
00:58:03:26 - 00:58:23:10
It was like a net through the whole net out there. I’m worthless. Take the net. Take the net. Oh but yeah, but back to that. Yeah. You’re. Yeah. You’re not wrong about like, the constant calling and stuff. Oh the phone call where I mean, I homeschool. What am I talking about? Health care. Yeah. The health care. Yeah. She was difficult.
00:58:23:11 - 00:58:41:22
But I think though overall it has been something to bring us closer together with each other and closer to God. And just knowing like I think it gives us a good baseline because we really don’t know what the future holds. Could be some with our kids, some of them with us. It could be something with this, it could be a totally different thing.
00:58:41:25 - 00:59:00:14
But we just it’s helped me to see is like, we just do not have anything like guaranteed in life. All you can do is like, am I in a state of grace right now? Am I united to Christ? Am I in relationship with him, in communion with him? As long as I have that, everything else will come into place?
00:59:00:16 - 00:59:22:04
Yeah. I told my priest friend, father been like, I think I was prepared to get better and I was prepared to die. But I wasn’t prepared to like, live unwell. And I think that’s why this recovery has been so difficult for me like that. I thought that like, you hear all these stories of like, oh, people got their speech back two weeks post-op, you know, and nobody said that.
00:59:22:04 - 00:59:39:29
No one said that. We do. We have a friend that yeah, that happened, but nobody said that to me. But but but I thought that I was but they said all those people, they say a year it was like I could a year I could do that in two months. Yeah. That’s. And then you’re doing the alphabet a b, you’re a B, you’re.
00:59:40:01 - 01:00:00:07
I loved in the hospital, though. It was good that I knew all your inside jokes because Laura had about 80 words total to use. And then she’s like like, Laura, how you doing? Those were foul words. Those do not go away. Most Laura is like, they’re like, Laura, how are you? Laura is like, oh, me like oh. And she’s like, what is she saying?
01:00:00:11 - 01:00:18:18
Like she’s saying she feels like Kevin from the office. We use less words, less save time. Actually, no, you’re using more time, Kevin. But it’s just like doing, like three of them. Like. And it’s like, oh, I can I can get that. That’s a successful marriage. Get a he’s been built on a solid foundation of inside jokes. Yes.
01:00:18:19 - 01:00:37:12
Or even. Yeah. Even in the hospital there was a lady that looked like Lila Rose, and I was like. Like I was like, trying to say it. And then it was like, okay, she wants you to see this picture of this girl. And it’s a she pretty like I’m trying to see I love that. I love that when you’re in the hospital, even even when you’re amidst the down to them.
01:00:37:12 - 01:00:54:15
So you turn into a little anime character, but all the rose. So then that showed me like, no, your personality is still intact. You’re still doing you’re still doing just fine. So all right, I think we’ve come to the end of our questions or anything else you want to share with people, or I’m sorry to waste your time.
01:00:54:17 - 01:01:05:15
Thank you. We’ll just. We will end where it began, with Laura saying how pretty Lila Rose’s and asking, are you still going to be doing talks with her?
01:01:05:18 - 01:01:23:20
And it will come full circle. Back to the first video on Too Far with Laura. Would you should go and check out those are copies. Cut that out. Classic, classic. No. Can you cut that? You can’t silence me. I can do hand fight, I do that, do hand fighting. Now it’s just I can do I can do a wrist lock.
01:01:23:21 - 01:01:37:09
I can do a wrist lock on my wife. I’m not going to do that, though. If you show off your digits at the end of this video. But what if. But what if that’s something? I’ll leave that in there. I’ll leave there. What? Cam, I allowed to say that’s. Help me. That was one thing that did help me get through things.
01:01:37:12 - 01:01:52:27
Jitsu? Yes. Yeah. Just see it. Okay, well jiu jitsu if you. I’m going to block. I’m going I’m going to block and I will I will come more. I think it was very hard that Trent could not work out. I think that got hard. You get you get sad. So like there was a period where I just wasn’t going in.
01:01:53:00 - 01:02:10:17
I was just hanging out with you and watching over you. But then, yeah, being able to that was like the one hobby, like during the week, just like I’m either working at the office by myself or go and just it’s nice. It’s actually what’s nice about ju jitsu is like if you’re not feeling well, you can get you can get that out on the mat and then you’re just really tired and you hurt after, but it’s like you get it out of you.
01:02:10:18 - 01:02:29:23
Yeah. Do you have anything that helped you like, well, you’re eventually, once you got your runs and your walks back. Yeah. My walks. It took me over three months to do a complete walk. It was. I remember after her complete walks are four miles. It’s not even that long. Okay. Stop complaining. You’re fine. We gonna go on another one?
01:02:29:23 - 01:02:46:27
The mom walks. They’re very long. I’m just kidding. I shouldn’t complain that long. I don’t know what accent our youngest has. Like, kind of like a, like a speech thing, but we don’t feel like doing speech therapy. I’m just calling it an accent. I’m like, how come everyone in Boston doesn’t go to speech therapy? People aren’t making them do that.
01:02:46:29 - 01:03:07:02
Why can’t my son. It’s pretty long dead. He also has, like, a deep voice. Sounds like a long German. Enough. I’m gonna be doing that today because I did get a tumor removed, so. All right, well. Thank you. Yeah, but it was after Charlie Kirk died that I. I it was like. I felt like a, like a cold action.
01:03:07:03 - 01:03:27:17
Like I was like. So I was like, okay, I’m going to start walking again. And I go outside and I couldn’t even make it down the street. I was like, Charlie would want me to walk. And then she made it down and she’s like, Candace was right. It was all a scam. I’m going back in. I’m gonna look up to see what that French plane was doing around Utah that day.
01:03:27:18 - 01:03:49:09
Oh my gosh. Talk about the big C. That’s my favorite joke, by the way. The one thing to be afraid of like the big C Candace. That’ll be a subject for another episode and scene and scene. Thank you for being with us today. Thank you all for joining us. We appreciate that sooner you support us. And oh, we are praying for every single one of you.
01:03:49:11 - 01:04:05:27
I please pray for us, pray for us, so many of my suffering for everybody and just yeah, yeah, I hope that has borne fruit in all of your guys’s lives. So and thank you guys so much for praying for me. Thank you for your prayers. Thank you all and I hope you have a very blessed