Jimmy Akin advises an incoming convert on how he can live out and share the faith with his parents who disapprove of his conversion.
Transcript:
Host: So let’s see if we can get Matthew in Georgia watching on–everybody’s on YouTube today, I think we’re very popular on YouTube. You are on, if you could give Jimmy your question real quick, we’ll get the answer on the other side.
Caller: Hi Jimmy, thank you for taking my question. You’ll appreciate, because of the show, I’m gonna be coming into the Church this Easter, so…
Jimmy: Welcome home!
Caller: But my question is, how do I go about trying to evangelize my parents? Because they’ve been super against all of this, and I just wanted to know helpful tips and that kind of thing, that would be great.
Jimmy: Yeah, so I would say there’s a couple of…there’s a distinction that needs to be made first. Evangelizing–and properly speaking, “evangelizing” means sharing the Gospel with someone who hasn’t already heard it, and that’s the basic message of Jesus, so you know if your parents are already Christian then it wouldn’t, properly speaking, be evangelizing.
Even so, you know, one could make an effort to share the fullness of the Christian faith with them, even if they’re already Christian, but that’s, again, a different process than simply helping them understand and accept what you’re doing. It seems to me that that’s really the thing that you need to be concerned about now. Not helping them come into the Church at this point while they’re still opposed to even you entering the Church, but just helping them understand and accept what you’re doing.
And maybe at some later point it will become possible, you know, to help share the fullness of Christian truth with them, but I wouldn’t make that my initial goal. Because they need to come to–in order to be open to the message of the Church, they need to be, first, accepting of the fact that it can be reasonable for someone like their son to join it, and so that would be my first goal.
And to do that, I would do a couple of things. The first one is, I would be as kind and loving and as wonderful a son as possible. And I wouldn’t fight with them; if they asked questions, I’d be happy to answer their questions; and if you need to say “You know, I don’t know the answer on that one, I’ll have to get you–I’ll have to do some research and maybe get your resource on that that can explain it better, but I don’t want to get into fights because I love you, and you know getting into a big argument right now isn’t gonna help either one of us. I decided I need to do this and I’m gonna do it but I still love you I want to let you know that,” and one way of showing it is by, you know, “I want to answer your questions, but I don’t want to fight,” and so, happy to do the first, don’t want to do the latter.
And then just be, otherwise, the best son you can. You know, find things to do to show them that you still care about them. I don’t know what happens in your family along those lines, but, you know, maybe bring them a nice present at some point, or take them out to dinner, or give your mom a phone call like they always say, you know, something that–or some things–that would be tangible demonstrations of the fact that you do love them.
And I’d also, if they’re coming from a Christian background and are opposed to you joining the Church, I’d make a point to talk about Jesus and your love for Jesus and how you want to be close to Jesus and you’re not abandoning your Christian faith. I would name-drop Jesus around them, just to make sure that they understand that you are a serious Christian and you’re committed to your faith as a Christian. And so that may help take some of the edge off their concerns.
Does that help you, Matthew?
Caller: Yeah it does. I really appreciate that, it’s just been been a rough, since I told them I was going through Confirmation and all that kind of stuff, it’s been a little rough so I appreciate it.
Jimmy: That’s understandable. Those are the basic strategies that I’d have. Obviously you know your parents better than I do, and so you’re going to be the best judge in a lot of the particulars in this situation. But those are the basic strategies I try to employ.
Host: Thanks Matthew, thanks very much for that call.