What’s it like defending the Catholic faith in the wild world of TikTok? In this episode of Creators in Focus, Cy Kellett sits down with Emily Torres (@catholicconverts) to talk about her experience engaging in high-stakes, often hostile debates about Catholicism on social media. From personal attacks to surprisingly fruitful conversations, Emily shares how she keeps her cool, stays charitable, and continues to speak truth online.
Transcript:
Cy: So you can actually, on this technology, you can. The both of you are on video.
Emily: Yes. I can add people, viewers in who want to ask me questions and I can have a conversation with them.
Cy: And do they challenge you? Sometimes? I mean, are they?
Emily: Oh, yeah. That’s why they come in there most of the time.
Cy: Oh, it’s not like, Emily, I just don’t understand this. It’s more like, you’re wrong about this.
Emily: Sometimes it is that. And I appreciate those times, but a lot of the time I would say it’s people who are like, you’re wrong. Well, they start off kind of hostile and then once I start talking and asking them questions, then they really cool it because I think they start to realize, oh, like I actually don’t know how to answer that question. And all of these people are watching me right now. You know what I mean?
Cy: I do think a mistake that people make is they can dismiss Catholicism and the Catholic faith and Christianity in general, because it’s stupid. Because the problem with that is it’s not stupid. It’s like if you think you’re smarter than the saints were, if you think you’re smarter than the philosophers and theologians, you’re not. You could say it’s wrong, but you’re in a world of hurt if your theory of the Catholic faith is. It’s stupid.
Emily: Oh, yeah. And that’s part of why I post. What I post is I’m trying to and like, go on live because I’m trying to get people to understand, look, religion is not just this dead subject that only dumb people fall into. Because, I mean, a lot of the backlash or responses I get from atheists or agnostics is like, religion is just your crutch. You can’t deal with the real world. You can’t deal with reality. So you have to rely on this fairy tale, on this empty hope to make your life better or happier. And it’s like, okay, no, why would I believe in a religion that teaches me I need to die to myself daily, love my enemies, pray for those that hate me if I just want an easy way out, and master my passions and, you know, like.
Cy: right become a person of love rather than a person of pleasures and of self-seeking and all that. Like, where’s the crutch in that? Which part of that is a crutch?
Emily: Yeah, I mean, for them, it’s like the view of heaven. Like, oh, you have some hope that when you die you’ll, you know, stay alive, but it’s like, okay. But I also have the fear of hell weighing on me too. So.
Cy: Yeah, you know, do you really? Because you’re on TikTok. Is that why I am tested frequently by many people in my lives? Yeah. Well, yeah. Right. So in other words, I imagine what happens then is sometimes a person thinks they have the clever take and then they can. They actually have to confront your questions and answers and they go, oh, it’s not quite as clever as I thought it was. Now that’s not convicting. That doesn’t turn someone into a Christian, but at least it removes the illusion that they have, that they’re dealing with a dope or a dupe.
Emily: Yeah, I mean a lot of what TikTok is, I mean it’s super silly. It’s just people that are looking, watching for debate and so they’ll comment W host if you’re the person hosting the livestream. Or they’ll comment L host like you lost. And so they’re like W, like you won or L you lost. And so they’ll spam that in the chat. So after like I bring somebody up, they’ll be like, host totally lost. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Like just flooding the comments. So I just like don’t look at those. Cause I’m like whatever, I don’t care. But they’re just looking for an easy like punch or win, you know what I mean? And so it’s hard.
Cy: Yeah, that was like Jesus on the cross would get Messiah totally lost. Exactly like that. We’re not scared of losing. Like the point is God wins.
Emily: Exactly. And truth comes out, you know. So I think, I mean my goal is to just show some of these people, like look, these silly atheists or Protestants coming in and are super argumentative and super hot-headed, like they actually don’t know what they’re talking about. And so you shouldn’t listen to them because their arguments, their points aren’t very sound. Upon some probing.
Cy: Do you have a thick skin?
Emily: Yeah, I’ve developed one for sure.
Cy: Oh yeah, you have?
Emily: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think, I mean especially like as a woman kind of getting into this field where you know, I mean typically the people like invested into apologetics are male, you know.
Cy: That’s very true. That’s a very good point.
Emily: So having like men come at me, you know, it’s a little, it’s kind of a different vibe because it almost feels, you know, I don’t know, it’s kind of, it just little scary in general when any person is like coming at you, but then especially when they’re a man. But. And maybe they’re like three times my age. Because some, there’s some, you know, older folks on there…
Cy: Three to four times your age are still young people. As a person who’s three times your age, I just want you to know we’re people too, you know.
Emily: I thought you were in your 40s Cy.
Cy: Thank you for lying to me. I appreciate it. Yeah, no, I can understand that. Totally. I mean, you and. And people say things that surprise you. I don’t. I’m not good at social media. So I. But you go, what you got that out of? I said this and you got that out of it. And then somebody explained trolling to me where it’s like, no, they didn’t think that you said that. They’re twisting what you said. How do you deal with all that?
Emily: Yeah, you know, I think I’ve handled it better over the years. Cause at first I would engage those people and then I started to realize through trial and error, like, oh, I just can’t engage these people. And so at some points, actually, I just had to stop looking at my comments because so many people that would hate so many people. I mean, oh my gosh. And some responses I’ve made to people who are, you know, very pro-abortion, pro-eugenics, you know, very ableist. Like, it’s very scary in the TikTok world, I’ll be honest. You see some terrifying things of people.
Cy: Just like, they want to do away with disabled people.
Emily: Yeah. Like they, like I, for example, one mother posted a video of her severely disabled child. So many people in the comments, horrible things. You know, basically, why didn’t you get rid of it when, you know, they were before they were born, like, calling the mother cruel for keeping her baby, keeping the baby alive. Like, horrible things. And so when I’ve like made responses to those videos calling that out for, you know, the evil that it is, again, comments are flooded with similar things. And so it’s just kind of in some ways makes me lose faith in humanity of like, wow, this is just wicked.
Cy: “You should have killed your baby.” Wow.
Emily: Yeah, exactly. It’s horrible. So I have to like, stop reading the comments when it comes to things like that. But, you know, nowadays when it’s about me or it’s about, you know, this girl’s annoying or whatever, like, I don’t care. You can say what you want. It doesn’t bother me, you know, oh, good for you.
Cy: It bothers me still. I’ve been doing this for years. And when they type this girl’s annoying under my videos, I’m like, that’s just me. Come on, man.
Have you failed? Like, where you felt you failed? Have you had times where you went, I did not handle that well, or, man, if I could get that back, I would not have said that or.
Emily: I would have say that for sure. I think some of my biggest mistakes are that I just prolong the conversation too much. Like, there was clearly somebody who wasn’t being respectful, wasn’t willing to listen. Oh, that’s how a lot of especially, oh my gosh, if I ever debate abortion, like, you can put little, like a green screen in the back of you. So that’s what I’ll do. I’ll typically have some sort of phrase in the background, like, the Catholic Church is the only true church, or I’m Catholic, ask me questions, or abortion is murder, or something like that. And if I’m ever debating abortion, that’s when it gets really ugly. Like, people talking over you, not letting you speak, just being very nasty ad hominems. Just like, not saying, staying on topic at all. And my biggest mistakes have been not refocusing the conversation and also not just cutting the conversation off when it clearly wasn’t going anywhere. And it’s the fear of, like, your view. Like, anytime I do that, though, if I cut the conversation because I’m like, this is just not productive. People in the comments, like, oh, you couldn’t handle it. You knew you were losing, so you had to stop the conversation. And so part of me is like, well, I don’t want to end it because I don’t want them to think that I’m just taking the easy way out. But also, this clearly isn’t going anywhere. And if I could have somebody come in who I could actually speak truth to them and like, they’re willing to hear it, then why would I not prioritize those people instead?
Cy: Right, right. And there. And yeah, that’s the problem with, I think the whole comment section on social media is there is this kind of, like, instantaneous judgment that people make. And if you pay attention to that instantaneous judgment, you won’t ever do anything you won’t see. It’d be like, oh, 11 people put an L next to me. Exactly. I got defeated. But why do you have resilience with it, though? I mean, I’ll be honest with you. I here at Catholic Answers, I have a whole community of people around me all the time when we mess up, there’s people to go, you know, to pick you up to go. Eh, it’s not as bad as you thought. Or it is as bad as you thought, but you’ll do it, you know, so there’s a kind of communal resilience in it.
So. Where do you get it? Where do you get that resilience?
Emily: Yeah. I mean, I have friends that actually I, like, met through TikTok, and so they become, like, very good friends. Like, one of them, I was in her bridal party. Like, so they, like, if I go live, which I don’t go live as often as I used to, like, I used to go live every single day, you know, but now I can’t do that as often. So. But if I go live, I’ll, like, send the link to them and be like, hey, I’m going live. Like, watch it. So then afterward, if I feel like, oh, wow, like, I feel like I messed up here, or I wish I would have done this, you know, they can be reassuring and be like, no, like you. I thought you responded well. Or, you know, they could say, it’s okay. Like, we all kind of, you know, they were grilling you for 20 minutes. It’s okay. You know, so I have that support, but also just prayer, honestly, having the Lord to support me, because like I told you earlier, there’s been so many clear signs to me that, like, this is what the Lord wants me to be doing. Even at times when I resist it, and I’m like, Lord, choose somebody else. You know, like, not me, like Moses, you know, so anybody else but me, you know, that can be a feeling that I have. But knowing that the Lord has made it clear, this is where he’s called me. That’s my strength. That’s my kind of reassurance.
Cy: Good for you. Good for you. So tell me about what are some of the most maybe common objections you have? Because essentially what you’re doing is inviting people to consider the Catholic faith.So what are the objections to that consideration?
Emily: Well, from-
Cy: Oh, I’m sorry. I’m asking you with 15 seconds left. Oh, my gosh, give me one.
Emily: A lot of people say, how do you know? Like, with the history of the Catholic Church and all the evil that it’s done, how could you be okay with it? I mean, clearly, again, it’s just misunderstanding, misinformation from their part on, you know, the church itself.
Cy: So then there’s the music. Emily Torres has been our guest. Honestly, I was having so much fun talking with you I didn’t even look at the clock. I look back, and Edgar looks like he’s gonna throw up, like when I ask you a question. So, Edgar, you okay? You gonna be all right? Okay. He’s all right. Emily Torres. Catholic Converts on TikTok!