My journey to becoming Catholic actually started with a childhood love of history. It is a love I still have, and it was this avenue, along with the Blessed Virgin Mary, that God used in bringing me home to his one true Church.
I was a third-generation Jehovah’s Witness on my mother’s side, and my father converted shortly after college. Both my father and mother were charismatic and brought many people into the Watchtower organization. I admired them for their zeal, and they were devoted parents who sincerely endeavored to train their children in Jehovah’s Witness beliefs.
A real love for God
I developed a real love for God at a young age and would often think of his great power and love. I recall many times in school refusing to salute the flag or having to explain to teachers and classmates why I didn’t participate in holiday celebrations. As I grew older, I continued to grow in the Jehovah’s Witness faith and became adept at citing biblical verses that seemed to support our doctrines.
As a devout JW, my mother never missed an opportunity to remind me of how “churches” were part of “Satan’s world.” This was especially true of the Roman Catholic Church. If we happened to be driving by a Catholic church, she would make me recite on cue, “There lies Babylon the Great!”
Curiously, I was always especially fascinated by the exterior of Catholic churches. I wondered what went on inside of them. By God’s grace, I never developed a prejudice against the Church like many other Jehovah’s Witnesses, although Watchtower publications certainly provide plenty of anti-Catholic rhetoric.
My mother started taking my brother and me to local libraries when I was about nine years old. She always encouraged my reading, researching, and imagination. One day my mother brought home a copy of Kenneth Clark’s Civilisation that she had purchased, a book that I would page through countless times. The photos (especially those of the great churches and religious art in Europe), as well as Lord Clark’s commentary, fascinated me. I resolved one day to visit the places in this book.
My first questioning of my faith happened when I was working on a construction site when I was courting my future wife. One day during a lunch break, the foreman confronted me about verses in the book of Revelation, chapters 7 and 14. He asked me if I knew personally any of the 144,000 mentioned in these two chapters, since Jehovah’s Witnesses believe this to be a literal number of those who were part of our religion who would attain heaven. The remaining JWs who were not of that class, we believed, would live forever in a restored earthly paradise after Christ’s return.
“I did know several of those who were of this literal 144,000,” I replied.
“Were they all Jewish male virgins?” he asked.
I was baffled and asked him what his point was.
“These two chapters in Revelation described the 144,000 as being from the 12 tribes of Israel, and these ones were not defiled by women,” he said. “Therefore, since they were not defiled by women, they must all be men, right?”
“This was merely symbolic,” I said.
“How could we possibly consider this description as being symbolic,” he persisted, “and yet deem the number of 144,000 to be a literal number?”
I was stumped. When I talked to my father about it, he didn’t have an answer, either. I convinced myself this wasn’t really important, and maybe I just wasn’t spiritually “smart enough.” I dismissed the incident.
Troubling beliefs
As time went by, I started seeing things in Scripture that weren’t supporting the topic of discussion during our worship services. I would read the verses before and after quoted Scripture passages and the chapters themselves in their entirety. I found that rarely did the context support the lesson being studied. In many cases, it was quite the opposite.
In addition, often I would see words in the Watchtower’s version of the Bible (the New World Translation) that had brackets around them. I didn’t know why. For example, this verse in Colossians 1:16-18, which is speaking of Christ:
“All [other] things have been created through him and for him. Also, he is before all [other] things and by means of him all [other] things were made to exist.”
The explanation given by some Jehovah’s Witness elders was that these words had originally been taken out by corrupt translators, who had been infected with the “pagan” Trinitarian doctrine (JWs don’t believe in the Trinity). The Watchtower translation committee had merely put back these words where they must have been originally.
This was a troubling claim to me, for if we believed the Bible was the word of God, did he not have the power to protect it from corruption? If corruption had taken place, how could we have confidence that any of Scripture was authentic?
Once again, I dismissed these dilemmas, but this time it was for fear of being viewed as someone who was unfaithful to Watchtower teaching, for which I would risk being “disfellowshipped,” which results in one’s being shunned by all Witnesses, including close friends and even family members. I hoped and prayed that solutions to my concerns would present themselves.
Little did I know what solution God had in store for me. Despite these questions, in 1990, at the age of 18, I decided to be baptized as a Jehovah’s Witness, hoping this would help me draw closer to God and get the answers I sought.
In 1992, I married my beautiful wife, Kimberly. She also was a third-generation JW. Shortly after we were married, I endeavored to deepen my faith. I decided I wanted to know more about the history of the Watchtower so I could more easily defend it.
What I found greatly troubled me. I found examples of prophetic claims that never came to pass in older Watchtower publications. I couldn’t help but think of the Scripture verses in Deuteronomy 13:20-22, which speak of how to identify a false prophet. I began to question whether I was part of God’s true church.
In addition, I saw flip-flopping on doctrine throughout the short history of the Watchtower. Jehovah’s Witnesses explain this by stating that God sheds “new light” upon their teaching authority, the Governing Body. Therefore, what was true before was no longer true and thus superseded by new teachings, even if the “new” teachings directly contradict the “old” ones. They use Proverbs 4:18 to support this doctrine.
However, upon examination of the entire chapter, I realized this had nothing to do with developing doctrine. I did not know the term at the time, but I was learning of the dangers of “proof texting” by pulling passages out of their original context to prove a point.
Losing one faith . . .
By my late 20s I came to realize that my conscience would not allow me to follow the Jehovah’s Witness faith any longer. My wife was devastated when I shared my doubts with her, and although I had told her that I would not discourage her or hold her back from continuing to practice our childhood faith, neither of us was sure our marriage would survive, despite our deep love for each other.
In the year 2000, we had decided to make a dream of ours come true and travel to Europe. I would finally get to see the places I admired and studied so much about in Lord Kenneth Clark’s book. We went to France and Italy, and during three weeks there we visited Notre Dame de Paris, Notre Dame de Chartres, St. Mark’s Basilica in Venice, the Duomo in Florence, and many other beautiful Catholic churches. Finally, we saw the great St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome, where we attended Blessed John Paul II’s papal audience in the square.
Both Kimberly and I were profoundly affected by these beautiful places but did not share with each other our true feelings until later in our faith journey. Suffice it to say that God had planted a seed in us by using my love of history and seeing his Church on earth in its ancient and present glory.
In 2003, we were overjoyed when our daughter, Racquel, was born. A new and wonderful chapter in our lives was beginning. Kimberly had gradually stopped attending the meetings of the local Jehovah’s Witness congregation.
I started to question to myself, “In what faith will we raise our daughter?” While neither of us stopped believing in the existence of God, we weren’t sure if truth actually existed or where to even start in addressing these issues. We decided to continue to live as morally as possible and deferred the issue for the time being.
On Christmas Day 2008, I was rushed to the hospital for a heart defect I never knew I had. As I laid in the emergency room, I suddenly faced the reality of my own mortality, a subject I had never really thought about. I was raised to believe that we are all living in “the time of the end” and that Armageddon will happen at any moment, and only faithful Jehovah’s Witnesses will survive. The thought of death was not a subject I had given much thought to.
I realized this was something I had to think about seriously. After corrective surgery for my defect, I suffered another setback shortly before Thanksgiving and was back in the ER. This time, I prayed to God to show me what he wanted of me. I felt lost, helpless, and a little scared.
. . . And finding another
Upon returning home, I undertook an Internet search on my computer for the testimonies of ex-Jehovah’s Witnesses. One of the first hits that came up was an apostolate, catholicjw.com, aimed at former JWs interested in the Catholic faith. I couldn’t believe there was such a thing. The site had been started by Dr. Jeffrey Schwehm, a former Jehovah’s Witness. I eagerly read the articles I found there, particularly those written by Tom Cabeen.
Tom, who would later be instrumental in helping me, and eventually Kimberly, in our journey, had spent 12 years at the Jehovah’s Witness headquarters in Brooklyn, New York, as an elder and overseer of their pressroom. I listened to the podcast of his story on Marcus Grodi’s EWTN show, The Journey Home, and was speechless. His words really struck a chord with me.
I contacted Tom via e-mail. He gave me some reading recommendations, including Rod Bennett’s Four Witnesses, a wonderful introductory book about the Church fathers. I was blown away by what I was reading. Some of these men Bennett wrote about had known the apostles and were ordained by them. They spoke of a very different faith than the one I had known. They described a rich, full, beautiful faith that I came to realize was Catholic.
Shortly thereafter, while looking through the religious section of a local bookstore, I came across the Catechism of the Catholic Church. I was amazed at the beauty and depth of the teachings of the Church spelled out in this book. They are elegant, coherent, and soaked in Scripture.
I started buying and reading books voraciously. I read contemporary writers like Peter Kreeft, Scott Hahn, Steve Ray, Thomas Howard, and Karl Keating. I read deeper into the Church fathers by way of William Jurgens’s Faith of the Early Fathers. I delved into the writings and lives of the saints, including Augustine, Athanasius, Bernard of Clairvaux, Francis of Assisi, Bonaventure, Thomas Aquinas, Louis de Montfort, Padre Pio, Teresa of Avila, Catherine of Siena, and many, many others. I became a great admirer of Benedict XVI’s writings, both as Cardinal Ratzinger and as pope.
Up to this point, I had not shared my thoughts and findings with Kimberly. However, I knew she had to have seen the books lying around the house. One evening, while she and Racquel were out, I went to the closest Catholic church and attended vigil Mass. Having never attended a worship service of any religion other than Jehovah’s Witnesses, I was amazed at how much Scripture the Mass contained. History came alive for me in the liturgy.
The next day, I revealed to Kimberly my experience of the night before. She asked me if I thought the Catholic Church was true. I told her I could come to no other conclusion: The Catholic Church is what she claims to be. We read John 6 several times together, and we were both amazed at how we had never seen this before as Jehovah’s Witnesses. The beauty of the Church was being revealed to us, but my wife confided that she didn’t think she could go any further because of the risk of losing her family.
I really wasn’t sure what to do at this point. Do I press on by myself and trust God that it will work out? Do I trust in God that the right decision will be revealed and wait? Feeling torn, I attended another vigil shortly thereafter, and when everyone started to line up for Communion, I decided to leave early.
I was almost to my car at the far end of the parking lot when I was stopped in my tracks. I almost felt something turn me around by the shoulders and lead me back inside. I hadn’t planned on it, but after Mass I was moved to ask the priest for a rosary, and he graciously obliged. I immediately took to praying the rosary, and from that point forward our Lady took me under her mantle and pointed the way.
Coming home
Throughout the next year I deepened my faith through further reading. This allowed time for Kimberly to explore the teachings of the Church in greater depth. In particular, the reading of Scott and Kimberly Hahn’s conversion story, Rome Sweet Home, greatly helped her. We started attending Mass every Sunday and then, in the summer of 2011, after much prayer on our part, God revealed to us that it was time to take the next step.
I inquired about RCIA with Fr. Cavana Wallace, pastor of St. Margaret of Scotland parish in Oceanside, California. Fr. Wallace, a pious priest who is faithful to the ancient traditions of the Church, put us in touch with Pam Talbot, the RCIA director. After prayerful consideration, Pam paired us up with Nick and Anne Marie DiNapoli as our mentors.
We have been so blessed to have them and their beautiful family to show us the great beauty of the Church. Racquel was baptized, with Nick and Anne Marie as her godparents, on the feast day of the Epiphany of the Lord in 2012. Kimberly and I entered the Church that Easter Vigil. God has been so merciful to us. We are home!