Consider a scenario:
You’re taking a plane trip. As everyone is buckling in, you say hello to the person next to you. He has a sweatshirt on from Ohio State University. You used to live in Ohio, so you chat about life in the Buckeye State. You ask about his family. He’s got a couple of kids. You’ve got kids. You share stories. A friendly and relaxed conversation follows about sports, the weather, work, and so on. Then you interject something like, “I’d like to tell you about Jesus . . .”
You listened. You built bridges of friendship. Now you are proclaiming the gospel. This is effective evangelization, right?
But how does all this feel to him? Is your seat neighbor now ready for an open and respectful conversation about the Faith?
The truth is, we cannot know. Maybe he had been wanting to talk with someone about Jesus, and you arrived just at the right moment. Maybe he had never given much thought to Jesus, but when you said the Lord’s name, his heart opened, and he now finds he does want to hear what you have to say. Anything is possible.
But is it also possible that as soon as you say the name of Jesus, he feels tricked? Is it possible that he thought you were just having an amiable chat, but now that you turned so suddenly to talk about Jesus, he will see all your friendliness as fake? Is it possible that he will even feel that he has been trapped?
Okay. Now consider another scenario:
You’re taking a plane trip. As everyone is buckling in, you say hello to the person next to you. He has a sweatshirt on from Ohio State University. You used to live in Ohio, so you chat about life in the Buckeye State.
Then you say something like, “I carry these medals in my pocket, and I give them out to people I meet. They’re called Miraculous Medals, and many Catholics wear them. I’d like to give you this one.”
He looks at the medal and says, “Okay. Thanks. But what am I supposed to do with it?”
“You can wear it, or keep it in your pocket, whatever you want. It is mostly just a reminder that God loves you and he’s here to help you.”
“I’m not Catholic, though.” “Are you a Christian?”
“I was raised a Baptist, but we go to a non-denominational church.”
“You prefer that?”
“Mostly. It’s a nice community, the people are great.” “As a Baptist, you must have grown up really knowing your Bible . . .”
In this scenario, you know you can talk about Jesus with him, and about the Bible, because he is a practicing Christian. Although we can’t know for sure how he feels about this conversation, you have been open and honest about your intentions from the moment you offered the gift of the Miraculous Medal, which he accepted and even asked about.
In this scenario, you offered a gift that made clear right from the start that you are a Catholic and you take your faith seriously. In giving the gift, you got to proclaim a little bit of the gospel—that God loves you and is here to help you.
Now, as the conversation continues, you can listen to what your seatmate has to say, and you can build bridges of friendship without having to wait for the moment to “pounce” with the name of Jesus. You have made your intentions clear from the beginning, and for this reason, he got a say in whether he wanted to talk about religious faith.
In some cases, this person might refuse the medal and make clear he is not open to a religious conversation. In other cases, you will get other reactions.
As it happens, this person seems to feel that he has been approached honestly and seems willing to converse. Maybe more conversation will now follow in which more of the Catholic faith can be shared. Maybe in a minute he’ll put on his headphones and go to sleep.
At the very least, he now has a Miraculous Medal, a reminder of God’s love, and the opportunity to hear from a Catholic about the fullness of the Faith—which, of course, matters because the Church is, itself, the “household of God” (1 Tim. 3:15), and thus the means for encounter with Christ. Ultimately, what the evangelist wants for every person (from the atheist to the non-Catholic Christian to the non-practicing Catholic) is to know Christ and receive him in the sacraments and life of his Church.
Making your intentions clear from the beginning created a certain freedom for both of you. He can decide if he wants to talk with you about religion, and you can talk about it honestly, knowing that you are not sneaking in Jesus or Catholicism on an unsuspecting person.
This is of fundamental importance. Everything we do as evangelists must be open, respectful of the other, and honest. We are not looking just to put another notch in our evangelist belt. We don’t want to treat people merely as targets. And so, when we start our conversations, by listening to what others have to say and trying to build bridges of friendship, our usual practice should be to make clear very early that we want to share Jesus.
Or consider a family situation in which you want to invite a relative to consider the Catholic faith. In such a situation, we can become pests if we are constantly trying to insert religion into conversations and situations where it feels like we are ambushing, or maybe even criticizing, our loved ones. We must remember that it is not our job to make sure another person responds to Jesus by embracing the life of faith. Our duty is to proclaim and invite.
What if, instead of potentially harming normal relationships by being that relative who constantly introduces religious topics even when they are unwelcome, we took the time to build love and trust by consistently listening and being good to the other person?
Perhaps then we might one day say something like, “Could I have ten minutes of your time this weekend just to tell you what I believe? It is important to me, and I would like to share it. I don’t need you to do anything, and I promise I won’t go over ten minutes. I just want to share this part of my life with you because you are important to me, but that’s all. I just want you to know this part of my life.”
It might be that the person will say no, but is that likely if you have truly been attentive and responsive without being pushy? And even if the person does say no, you have done what you could, you still have friendship with the person, and perhaps another opportunity will come in time.
On the other hand, if the person says yes, you have not ambushed him or come at him in an annoying way, and that means you now have an opportunity to proclaim the gospel to one who is, at the very least, going to give you a polite hearing.
You have not treated a person merely as a target. Instead, you have built a personal friendship. Such friendship might just be the bridge over which the truth of the gospel can now travel.
For more ironclad tips from the trenches on fulfilling the Great Commission, check out How to Talk About Jesus with Anyone, brand new and available now at the Catholic Answers shop.