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Q u i c k Q u e s t i o n s
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This Rock
Volume 18, Number 5
 May-June 2007 
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What Happens if We Divorce?
Q: My wife and I are considering divorce after a long and unloving period of our relationship. She considers us roommates. The reason we haven’t divorced is that she couldn’t live alone on her salary plus trying to raise our son. She is unwilling to go to counseling. What are the implications of divorce for practicing Catholics? Can we still receive the sacraments? Where can I learn about the annulment process?
A: The loser here is your son. I would think long and hard before inflicting a divorce on him. You and your wife chose to marry each other. He didn’t choose to be born. He deserves a home with a mother and a father. I’m not trying to lay a guilt trip on you. These are simply the facts. If it is absolutely impossible for the two of you to remain together, then the Church allows civil divorce for the equitable division of goods that have been held in common.
I know of an instance where the child remained in the home and the parents would alternate every other week living there so that the child wouldn’t be shuttled here and there for the rest of his childhood. I commend the parents for obviously being more concerned about him than about themselves.
If you do separate you may both receive the sacraments so long as you are in the state of grace. But you are still married, and dating other people is out of the question unless and until you are able to have the marriage annulled. This book will give you all that you need to know about annulments: Annulments and the Catholic Church by Edward Peters, available on shopcatholic.com or by phone: 888 291 8000.
—Fr. Vincent Serpa
Q: Is the tabernacle always supposed to be in the center of the sanctuary? If it's not in good view from where I sit at Mass, in what direction should I genuflect—towards the crucifix or altar at the center?
A: The tabernacle may be placed about anywhere in the church provided certain conditions are met. Code of Canon Law states, "The tabernacle in which the Most Holy Eucharist is reserved is to be situated in some part of the church or oratory which is distinguished, conspicuous, beautifully decorated, and suitable for prayer" (CIC 938 §2).
Concerning genuflecting, the General Instruction of the Roman Missal states,
If… the tabernacle with the Most Blessed Sacrament is present in the sanctuary, the priest, the deacon, and the other ministers genuflect when they approach the altar and when they depart from it, but not during the celebration of Mass itself. Otherwise all who pass before the Most Blessed Sacrament genuflect, unless they are moving in procession. (GIRM 274)
—Jim Blackburn
Q: The Church’s teaching on the immorality of in-vitro fertilization seems cruel and unfair. Don’t married couples have a right to have a child?
A: While the Church’s judgment concerning in-vitro fertilization treatments may appear cruel and unfair, it is not. Children are a gift, not an entitlement. The Church teaches that
[M]arriage does not confer upon the spouses the right to have a child, but only the right to perform those natural acts which are per se ordered to procreation. A true and proper right to a child would be contrary to the child's dignity and nature. The child is not an object to which one has a right, nor can he be considered as an object of ownership: rather, a child is a gift, "the supreme gift" (58) and the most gratuitous gift of marriage, and is a living testimony of the mutual giving of his parents. For this reason, the child has the right, as already mentioned, to be the fruit of the specific act of the conjugal love of his parents; and he also has the right to be respected as a person from the moment of his conception. (Instruction on Respect for Human Life 8)
The Catechism of the Catholic Church also reminds us that
Techniques involving only the married couple (homologous artificial insemination and fertilization). . . dissociate the sexual act from the procreative act. The act which brings the child into existence is no longer an act by which two persons give themselves to one another, but one that "entrusts the life and identity of the embryo into the power of doctors and biologists and establishes the domination of technology over the origin and destiny of the human person. Such a relationship of domination is in itself contrary to the dignity and equality that must be common to parents and children." (CCC 2377)
Further reading: Donum Vitae
—Peggy Frye
Q: Sometimes I mix the mysteries of the rosary and meditate on different parts of Jesus’ life, not necessarily on the prescribed day. I never thought about it until someone said it was disrespectful. Does the rosary have to be said in a certain way to be effective?
A: When you are praying the rosary privately, you can mix and match. The object of the rosary is prayer. If you want to pray five decades, meditating on one mystery, it's fine. There is absolutely nothing disrespectful in this.
—Fr. Vincent Serpa
Q: I have a Lutheran friend who married a Catholic woman outside the Catholic Church because there were problems with the annulment of his previous marriage. I go to the same Catholic Church as his wife, where she is unable to receive Communion. Is there some kind of dispensation she can get so that she can receive Communion?
A: The woman chose to marry invalidly and then live as though she were a validly married woman—this is a grave situation. She will not be allowed to receive Communion as long as she ignores this. I can only recommend that she repent and go to confession, and that they commit to living as brother and sister until the situation is rectified (i.e., annulment and convalidation). If she does this, she can receive Communion.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church explains,
Today there are numerous Catholics in many countries who have recourse to civil divorce and contract new civil unions. In fidelity to the words of Jesus Christ—"Whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery" (Mark 10:11-12) —the Church maintains that a new union cannot be recognized as valid if the first marriage was. If the divorced are remarried civilly, they find themselves in a situation that objectively contravenes God's law. Consequently, they cannot receive Eucharistic Communion as long as this situation persists. For the same reason, they cannot exercise certain ecclesial responsibilities. Reconciliation through the sacrament of penance can be granted only to those who have repented for having violated the sign of the covenant and of fidelity to Christ, and who are committed to living in complete continence. (CCC 1650)
— Jim Blackburn
Q: My daughter’s second-grade CCD class was given a Mass attendance record which they are to have the priest punch for them after Mass. Is this right?
A: While the parish is well-intentioned in trying to get children in its CCD program—and, presumably, their parents—to attend Mass, the policy it has implemented to encourage this is problematic. Catholics have the right to fulfill their Sunday obligation "wherever Mass is celebrated in a Catholic rite either on a holy day itself or on the evening of the previous day" (canon 1248 §1, Code of Canon Law) and are not required to do so at their parish church. It would be particularly troublesome if the parish is conditioning the children’s reception of the sacraments of First Reconciliation and First Communion upon an attendance record, particularly since culpability for failure to complete such a record would be the parents’ and not the children’s.
I recommend talking to your pastor to clarify the parish’s intentions in this policy and the consequences for the children if the attendance record is not completed. If you remain concerned about the use of these "punch cards," I recommend talking to a canon lawyer in your diocese for clarification of the relationship between your child’s right to receive the sacraments and the parish’s right to ensure adequate preparation for those sacraments. You can also obtain guidance in these matters from the St. Joseph Foundation (www.st-joseph-foundation.org).
—Michelle Arnold
Q: My understanding is that it is illicit for a priest to sing the words of the consecration. Is it so, and where is it written?
A: Until Vatican II, the Latin rite was the only rite that did not sing the consecration. Now, however, the whole Eucharistic Prayer can be sung—according to music approved by the local bishop. This URL provides documentation: http://www.zenit.org/english/visualizza.phtml?sid=88797
—Fr. Vincent Serpa
Q: Non-Catholics have told me that Pope Leo X said, "It has served us well, this myth of Christ." Is this true?
A: Although the quote is commonly attributed without source documentation to Pope Leo X, it is believed to have originated in a satirical piece titled "The Pageant of the Popes" by a Protestant controversialist named John Bale (1495–1563). Bale wrote: "For on a time when a Cardinall Bembus did move a question out of the Gospell, the Pope gave him a very contemptuous answer saying: ‘All ages can testifie enough howe profitable that fable of Christe hath ben to us and our companie.’"
—Michelle Arnold
Q: I was married in the Church, later divorced, and then I remarried. I just received word that my annulment request was denied. However, my deacon told me that even though my annulment petition was denied by the diocesan tribunal, if I believe in good conscience that my first marriage was not valid, I can go to my priest and he can give me permission to return to the Eucharist. Is this true? Please provide documentation.
A: The deacon is incorrect. A Catholic cannot use his or her conscience (the internal forum) to overturn a ruling of the diocesan tribunal (external forum). Canon 1671 clearly states that "marriage cases of the baptized belong to the ecclesiastical judge by proper right." This is because "marriage is not simply a private decision," but a public one, involving the Church, and the spouses, "both individually and as a couple."
According to the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith’s 1994 Letter to the Bishops Concerning the Reception of Holy Communion by the Divorced and Remarried, not to recognize the Church’s mediation in the judgment of the nullity of a previous marriage, "would mean in fact to deny that marriage is a reality of the Church, that is to say, a sacrament" (no. 8). The document goes on to say: The mistaken conviction of a divorced and remarried person that he may receive Holy Communion normally presupposes that personal conscience is considered in the final analysis to be able, on the basis of one's own convictions, to come to a decision about the existence or absence of a previous marriage and the value of the new union. However, such a position is inadmissible. (7)
In …the case of those who are subjectively certain in conscience that their previous marriage, irreparably broken, had never been valid. It must be discerned with certainty by means of the external forum established by the Church whether there is objectively such a nullity of marriage. (9)
http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_14091994_rec-holy-comm-by-divorced_en.html
—Fr. Vincent Serpa
Q: Is it always a sin to lie? For example, what if the Gestapo asked me if I had seen any Jews? Does the Church teach that I should tell the Nazi officer the truth even if it will result in suffering and death?
A: The Catechism of the Catholic Church’s treatment on lying can be found in paragraphs 2475–2487. In a separate treatment of the subject that falls under the heading "Respect for the Truth" (2488–2492) the Catechism states:
The right to the communication of the truth is not unconditional. … This requires us in concrete situations to judge whether or not it is appropriate to reveal the truth to someone who asks for it. Charity and respect for the truth should dictate the response to every request for information or communication. The good and safety of others, respect for privacy, and the common good are sufficient reasons for being silent about what ought not be known or for making use of a discreet language. … No one is bound to reveal the truth to someone who does not have the right to know it. (CCC 2488–2489)
This means there can be cases in which it is morally licit to reserve the truth. Avoiding giving the location of people in danger of being murdered would be one such case. A person in such a situation should try to avoid directly lying, if possible; however, fear for the safety of innocents and the unjust external pressure brought to bear on him could mitigate against culpability should he inadvertently cross the line to lying.
—Michelle Arnold
Q: I remember three prayers that used to be said after the Low Mass. One was to St. Michael the Archangel. What were these prayers called and when were they removed?
A: The prayers you’re referring to are called the Leonine prayers after Pope Leo XIII, who asked they be recited after Low Mass for the intention of the whole Church. Later, Pope Pius XI requested they be said for the conversion of Russia. The prayers consisted of three Hail Marys, one Hail Holy Queen, a prayer to St. Michael the Archangel, and a three-fold invocation to the Sacred Heart.
These prayers were never part of the Roman Missal. The instruction to remove the prayers came before the Second Vatican Council closed in 1964.
—Peggy Frye
Q: Matthew’s Gospel includes a verse in which Jesus says to call no man father. Yet we Catholics use the title Father to refer to the priests. What is our explanation?
A: Jesus said, "And call no man your father on earth, for you have one Father, who is in heaven" (Matt. 23:9). Several sentences later he said, "Fill up, then, the measure of your fathers" (Matt. 23:32). So clearly verse 9 was not meant to be a prohibition against the use of the word "father" for anyone other than the first person of the trinity. Rather, it was a prohibition against the misuse of the title. For more details, see our tract Call No Man Father.
—Jim Blackburn
Q: How do I answer my daughter’s friend who believes that Mark 16:17-18 is proof that snake-handling is a true test of one’s faith?
A: Explain that the miraculous signs mentioned in Mark 16 (driving out demons, drinking poison) were not performed to prove a believer’s faith or that one has a "special anointing," as taught by the Church of God with Signs Following sect, but instead they were meant to confirm the truth of Christ’s message.
Bernard Orchard’s A Catholic Commentary on Sacred Scripture explains the miracles of Mark 16:17-18 in this way:
When sending the Apostles on a temporary mission in Palestine, Christ gave them power to cast out demons in order to strengthen the appeal of their preaching. Now he promises to believers miraculous signs to guarantee the truth and divine origin of the doctrine which they had accepted (Heb. 2:4). The promise is made to the community of the faithful rather than to each individual believer. In the early days of the Church, possibly because of a skeptical and hostile world to which the Gospel and Church were still new, some of these manifestations more frequent than in later times. But Christ’s promise is not limited to a particular period. In every age miracles have given proof that Christ abides with the Church.
— Peggy Frye
Q: There is no Catholic Church in my country as the government is very hostile to the Vatican. As a result, I'm not baptized nor can I receive any sacrament. But I hold the Catholic faith and have repented of my sins. Can I baptize myself? And can I confess my sins directly to God? Or am I going to hell?
A: While you cannot baptize yourself, rest assured that if you should die with no opportunity for baptism, your desire for it will suffice. The Catechism of the Catholic Church explains in such cases, "the desire for Baptism… brings about the fruits of Baptism without being a sacrament" (CCC 1258). Similarly, your lack of access to the Sacrament of Penance need not exclude you from God’s forgiveness. The Catechism explains:
Among the penitent's acts contrition occupies first place. Contrition is sorrow of the soul and detestation for the sin committed, together with the resolution not to sin again.
When it arises from a love by which God is loved above all else, contrition is called "perfect" (contrition of charity). Such contrition remits venial sins; it also obtains forgiveness of mortal sins if it includes the firm resolution to have recourse to sacramental confession as soon as possible. (CCC 1451-1452)
Never underestimate God’s desire for everyone’s salvation and His willingness to forgive the truly repentant! You are in our prayers.
—Jim Blackburn
Q: Should there be laws protecting homosexuals from discrimination in the workplace?
A: Genuine injustice requires correcting. If homosexuals are being unjustly discriminated against in the workplace, then it is just for society to seek to correct that injustice through legislation. The Catechism of the Catholic Church states: "[Homosexuals] must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided" (CCC 2358).
—Michelle Arnold
Q: Does the Catholic church teach that someone dying with mortal sin always goes to hell? With so many unexpected deaths, accidents, there must be a second chance to say "I'm sorry."
A: At the last moment it may be possible to repent. But some people die so quickly that they may not have that moment. If a person dies as God's enemy—which is what we are in mortal sin—then he goes to hell by his own choice. Most of us have had a lifetime to choose him.
—Fr. Vincent Serpa
Q: I am a sponsor for a candidate for confirmation with RCIA. My candidate has a former husband who is a Protestant and is refusing to go through the annulment process. Does this mean that she cannot obtain an annulment?
A: No. Either party can petition for an annulment. Canon 1510 specifically provides for a respondent who refuses to accept a legitimately served citation, and Canon 1592 §1 allows the judge (tribunal) "to declare the respondent absent from the trial and decree that the case is to proceed to the definitive sentence and its execution." You might ask the candidate to pick up a copy of Edward N. Peters’ book, Annulments and the Catholic Church: Straight Answers to Tough Questions.
—Peggy Frye
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