|
S i d e b a r
If We "Create Our Own Meaning," Is Love Real?
|
This Rock
Volume 18, Number 5
 May-June 2007 
|
|
|
A personal anecdote may help to illustrate some of the assumptions we have about love. Years ago I worked with Ellen, a smart and funny lady, and a good conversationalist. Our chats would occasionally veer into the realm of religion. Ellen was raised in a Catholic home but had decided years ago that there was no God. She was, she confessed without the slightest hint of animosity or guile, an atheist. This led to some fascinating conversations, including one that went like this:
Me: "So you really believe that since there is no God and no transcendent reality, the material realm is all that there is?"
Ellen: "Yes, that’s right."
Me: "Now, I know that you love your husband and children very much . . ."
Ellen: "Yes, of course. Why?"
Me: "If the material world is all that exists, then how do you explain your love for them?"
Ellen: "What do you mean, ‘How do I explain my love for them’?"
Me: "If your presuppositions are correct, then the love you feel for your family must be simply a matter of biology, physiology, neurology . . ."
Ellen (slightly testy): "No, I really do love them."
Me: "And I am convinced that you love them. But it seems to me that your beliefs about God and reality necessarily mean your love for them is a matter of biology and neurology only—it has just as much meaning as water running down a hill or leaves falling from trees. Yet you and I both know that love is much more than a matter of biological chance."
Ellen: "Well, I don’t think there needs to be a God for me to love my family."
Me: "Would you die to save your family?"
Ellen: "Yes, of course!"
Me: "Why?"
Ellen: "Because I love them!"
The conversation never progressed from that point, and it probably couldn’t. But this matter of love and meaning soon came to my attention again.
Kevin, the founder of the local "Freethinkers and Atheists Society" was featured in the newspaper for his involvement in that group. A few months prior I had exchanged a few letters with Kevin after he took exception to a letter-to-the-letter that he deemed to be filled with silly Christian superstition and illogic. The newspaper article reinforced what I had learned in our correspondence: Kevin’s grasp of basic Christian doctrine was about equal to my understanding of quantum physics. But the article revealed that Kevin was married to a woman for whom he expressed great love. Very well. Yet I recalled that Kevin, in a letter to me, had explained, in typical condescending fashion, that there is no "right" or "wrong," nor any "truth" or "falsehood" (despite his constant denunciations of Christianity). Rather:
Atheists simply assert that in order to create meaning, you must have a functioning mind. We all create our own meaning, and hence our own version of morality, whether we want to believe it or not. There is no one right way, no fundamental rule which applies in all circumstances.
Kevin was writing about morals, but if his thinking were consistent, it is only fair to surmise that he would also believe that love—like good, evil, truth, falsehood—is something the atheist "creates" and suffuses with meaning based on whatever his needs, desires, hopes, concerns, and passions might be at this moment. In which case, I would ask Kevin, if I had the chance, the same questions I did of Ellen: Why do you love your spouse and family? How do you explain that love?
|
C A T H O L I C A N S W E R S :
[TOP]
