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F e a t u r e A r t i c l e
CAN YOU STOUP (SIC) TO CONQUER?
By KARL KEATING
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This Rock
Volume 4, Number 10
 October 1993 
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BY popular demand, and out of a deep-seated
desire to confound, we present for your edification the second edition
of our "quiz from hell." This one is so much easier than
the last [February 1993] that around here we call it the "quiz
from purgatory." You have fifteen minutes to choose the right
answers to these ten questions. Solutions follow--but no peeking!
Questions
1. How many popes have been of Jewish descent?
a.
Only one, Peter.
b.
Two, Peter and his immediate successor, Linus.
c.
Only three of the first four popes; after the Jewish Council
of Jamnia (c. 85), which promulgated a curse against Christians, no
further popes of Jewish descent were elected.
d.
More than three.
2. To be elected pope, a man must be at least
a.
A cardinal who attends the papal conclave and is less than
80 years of age.
b.
Baptized.
c.
Over 50 years of age.
d.
Fluent in Latin.
3. In cases of necessity, which of the following is acceptable
matter for baptism?
a.
Beer.
b.
Lite beer, but not other kinds of beer.
c.
Blood (so "baptism of blood").
d.
Sea water.
4. If the Holy Roman Empire were still in existence, who
would be the Holy Roman Emperor today?
a.
Pope John Paul II.
b.
The president of Italy.
c.
Archduke Otto von Habsburg.
d.
The heir to the German throne.
5. What is the breviary?
a.
An abbreviated form of the New Testament.
b.
Latin-rite variant of an aviary.
c.
The Divine Office set to music.
d.
A book containing prayers, hymns, psalms, and readings
for the canonical hours.
6. What sin can't your spouse commit, even in
theory?
a.
Final impenitence.
b.
Fornication.
c.
Assassination.
d.
Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit.
7. Who is the patron saint of altar boys?
a.
Bruno Bettelheim.
b.
John Betjeman.
c.
John Berchmans.
d.
Loraine Boettner.
8. What is circumincession?
a.
The ancient Jewish initiatory rite for male children.
b.
The indwelling of each Person of the Trinity in the others.
c.
The manner in which the New World was divided up between
Spain and Portugal.
d.
A manner of procession used by concelebrating priests.
9. When did seminary training for priests become common?
a.
At the beginning of Church history, with our Lord's teaching
in the Temple.
b.
At the promulgation of Pope Pius X's encyclical Educationis
Seminarii.
c.
At the Council of Trent.
d.
At an unknown early date, but diocesan seminaries were
in regular use by the time of Augustine.
10. The vessel that holds water at the door to Catholic
churches may be called any of these except
a.
Stoup.
b.
Font.
c.
Holy water holder.
d.
Mandamus bowl.
Answers
Not so bad this time, eh? Here are our answers. If
they differ from yours, tough.
Question 1
a.
Yes, Peter was of Jewish descent, but he wasn't the only
pope who was.
b.
Sorry, there were more than two.
c.
Although the story about Jamnia is true, popes of Jewish
descent reigned after the first century.
d.
No one knows how many popes were of Jewish descent, but
in the eleventh and twelfth centuries there were three: Gregory VI,
Gregory VII, and Anaclet II. Add Peter to their number, and you get
"more than three," so this is the right answer.
Question 2
a.
Although for centuries all popes have been selected from
the ranks of the cardinals, there is no rule that a pope must be selected
from their ranks.
b.
Correct. The candidate must be a baptized Catholic; he
even can be a married layman.
c.
Nope. There's no age requirement.
d.
All the popes we can think of have been fluent in Latin,
but that's not a requirement either.
Question 3
a.
No, because the liquid used must be considered to be water
in common parlance.
b.
Taking out the calories doesn't help.
c.
"Baptism of blood" refers to martyrdom; sacramental
baptism is water baptism and requires water.
d.
Yes, sea water works, since it is commonly accounted as
water, even if not potable.
Question 4
a.
You should guess that the Holy Roman Emperor and the pope
are not one in the same since some of the greatest squabbles in history
have been between emperors and popes; there has been no emperor/pope.
b.
Closer, but the state of Italy was created only after the
Holy Roman Empire ended in the nineteenth century, so how could Italy's
president be the emperor?
c.
Archduke Otto von Habsburg is the son of the last emperor
of the Austro-Hungarian Empire, and that man's ancestor was the last
Holy Roman Emperor, the position having been in the Habsburg family
for centuries. As a point of interest, when Ian Paisley, the viciously
anti-Catholic minister from Northern Ireland, disrupted the European
Parliament a few years ago, Archduke Otto was one of the men who
wrestled him out the door.
d.
No, not the heir to the German throne. Think Austria, not
Germany, as the venue of the Holy Roman Emperors.
Question 5
a.
We don't know what an abbreviated form of the New Testament
would be called, other than brief, but "breviary" isn't
it.
b.
If you chose this answer, open your dictionary to "aviary."
c.
Close, since the breviary, which is commonly called the
Divine Office or liturgy of the hours, contains hymns, but mostly
it contains prayers that are not set to music.
d.
Bingo.
Question 6
a.
Anyone can be impenitent on his deathbed, even your spouse.
b.
Here's the right answer. Fornication is a sexual sin that
can be committed only by two unmarried people. If one or both are
married (but not to each other, of course), the sin is adultery.
c.
You might think your spouse is incapable of assassination,
but are you really sure?
d.
Same answer as "a."
Question 7
a.
Wrong. Bruno Bettelheim was one of this century's most
famous American psychologists.
b.
Wrong again. John Betjeman was named poet laureate of Britain
in 1972.
c.
Yes, John Berchmans (1599-1621) is the answer. He was canonized
in 1888.
d.
You should be ashamed of yourself. Go back and read chapter
two of Catholicism and Fundamentalism.
Question 8
a.
No, you're thinking of circumcision.
b.
Yes, this is right.
c.
Not even close. I made this one up out of thin air.
d.
Given today's liturgical disarray, this answer almost sounds
right.
Question 9
a.
Sorry, but you're about 1500 years off.
b.
So far as we know, there has never been an encyclical titled
Educationis Seminarii.
c.
Correct. The Council of Trent attempted to regularize priestly
training--a much-needed reform of the Church.
d.
Prior to Trent priests were trained on an apprentice system;
young men lived and worked with priests until they learned what to
do, and then they were ordained--great if your teacher was Augustine,
but disastrous if your teacher was himself ignorant of the faith.
Question 10
a.
It seems people either think of this word first for the
holy water holder, or they've never heard of it at all.
b.
A synonym and perhaps in more common use today.
c.
While in no way a regular title, this phrase accurately
describes the apparatus, so this isn't the right answer either.
d.
Ah, here we are. "Mandamus" sounds as though
it might have something to do with the Maundy Thursday foot washing
ceremony, but not so. The word actually means a writ issued by a superior
court, generally to an inferior court, ordering the performance of
a certain act.
Karl Keating is the editor of This Rock.
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