My husband had an affair that resulted in pregnancy. Should I consider it a blessing?


Full Question

My husband had an affair with a co-worker and got her pregnant. We are trying to move on, but I am having a hard time forgiving and trusting him again. My priest told me to stop wallowing in self-pity and look at the pregnancy as a blessing. Now, I don't know where to turn for help.

Answer

The pregnancy is a blessing for the baby—but certainly not for you! Fortunately, there is a place to turn for help. I suggest that you turn to the crucifix and the Lord’s Passion. Our crucified Savior is the solution. He knows what it is like to be betrayed and has given you an opportunity to share in his Passion in this way. Not only did Judas betray him, Peter denied him three times and the rest of the Apostles abandoned him, leaving him quite alone before those who apprehended him. Have no doubt, Jesus is very aware of your plight and loves you. To have difficulty trusting a husband who betrayed you is not "wallowing in self-pity." It’s a very normal reaction.

While the inanimate sign of the crucifix can help to direct your attention to the Savior’s unlimited love for us, the Eucharist is the living sign of it. The sight of his blood separated from his body on the altar is enough to break one’s heart if one lets the reality sink in. Such will be your consolation. There simply is none greater! I encourage you to spend time each day going over his entire Passion in your mind and thanking him for each suffering. This will focus you and give you perspective. You will know his peace and the ability to forgive your husband—and the priest as well. You are in our prayers.


Fr. Vincent Serpa O.P.