Dear Friend of Catholic Answers:
Last week I "quoted" paragraph 24503 of the General Instruction on the
Roman Missal as saying that "It is permissible to sing 'Somewhere Over
the Rainbow' before a funeral Mass, but only if Judy Garland does the
singing live."
I figured this instantly would be recognized as a spoof.
First, the GIRM--a long enough document as it is--has only 399
paragraphs, not 24,503.
Second, Judy Garland died in 1969 and is still dead. The GIRM in its
current form was issued in 2002. It surely would not authorize live
singing by someone known to have been dead for a third of a century.
Third, it is hardly credible that an official Vatican liturgical
document would make reference to a movie theme song and a long-ago
singer.
Despite such considerations, several people took my spoof quite
seriously, one man even saying he searched through the GIRM but was
unable to locate paragraph 24503.
I'm not sure how to take such responses. Maybe it means some people
think of me in oracular terms, as if I were scripture that is to be
taken literally no matter what. Maybe it means I should telegraph that a
joke is coming--something I don't want to do since it spoils the fun.
Maybe it just means I should apply to the Vatican to add one very
important paragraph to the GIRM.
A THRIFT-STORE POPE IN KANSAS
In the April 6 E-Letter I wrote about an elderly, disaffected priest who
styles himself Pope Pius XIII. An even more poignant case, in some ways,
is that of David Bawden, who lives in a rural town in Kansas and says he
is Pope Michael I.
Like other anti-popes--false claimants to the papal throne--he says the
popes following Pius XII (namely John XXIII, Paul VI, John Paul I, and
John Paul II) have not been real popes at all. This makes Bawden the
immediate successor to Pius XII.
In May he was interviewed by Dutch Catholic Television. You can see a
printed report (in Dutch) at:
www.katholieknederland.nl/actualiteit/nieuws/nieuws_388782.html
Especially interesting at the site are the photos of Bawden: in a field,
in his attic workroom, on a swing on his porch, in a chair with his
house in the background. In none of them does he crack a smile. Quite
the opposite. He cracks a frown. Maybe being pope isn't an easy thing.
You also might want to see Bawden's own site:
popemichael.homestead.com/index.html
There you can read a few old newspaper reports. One explains that Bawden
was elected by the required two-thirds plus one majority of the six
papal electors, two of whom happened to be his own parents. They run a
thrift store called The Question Mark, which seems a suitable name for
people engaged in such a questionable enterprise as electing their own
son as pope.
According to one newspaper, neighbors who were asked about the papal
election said "no comment" "but then followed with giggles or even
outright guffaws. Ron Henneberg, relaxing on the front porch of his home
next door to the used-furniture shop now doing double duty as a papal
chapel and office, said he took a more philosophical view than many.
"'I don't suppose it will change my life one way or the other,' he said.
'I guess we should have known something like this was bound to happen.
But as long as they're comfortable with their belief and they're not
hurting anybody, I figure they can do whatever they like.'"
The newspaper account does not explain what Henneberg was referring to
in saying "something like this was bound to happen." Perhaps there was a
general acknowledgment of the Bawden family's eccentricity.
PLEASE DON'T GO DOWN THAT PASSAGEWAY
Paul F. M. Zahl is the dean of the (Episcopal) Cathedral Church of the
Advent in Birmingham, Alabama. Writing for "Modern Reformation," a
magazine dedicated to the Calvinist proposition, he warned readers about
falling for the "ecclesiological option."
"It has been true for several decades now," he begins, "that American
evangelicals are attracted to high-church versions of Christianity. It
is the darnedest thing: liturgy and 'smells and bells' and vestments
have become a tractor-beam for people in reaction to supposed biblicism,
individualism, and colorlessness in worship."
He's been there, done that. As a minister in the Episcopal Church, Zahl
has seen what happens when churches bring in "liturgies of bell, book,
and candle without the great catholic doctrines that once anchored
them." The result is mere theater. Just look at what has happened to the
Episcopal Church, which went from liturgical finery to gay bishops.
Zahl says he wishes to "show my free-church evangelical brothers and
sisters, like the Ghost of Christmas Future, what lies ahead for them if
they fall for high ecclesiologies." What lies ahead is "church at the
expense of gospel, 'seeming' at the expense of 'being,' form at the
expense of substance. ... Unless, that is, you wish to follow things
through to their honest finish. Then you will become Roman."
Here's another cat out of the bag.
If a spare, clean-lined Evangelical church service just doesn't cut it
for you ...
If, like Thomas Howard (who wrote "Evangelical Is Not Enough"--an
appreciation of the Evangelical's need for liturgy--and who then
converted to the Catholic faith), you come to see that even the early
Church had a real liturgy--and for a very good reason ...
If you sense that something important is missing from the way
Evangelicals worship ...
If all that, then you need to do something. You might transform your
church's worship, adding the smells and bells, but that's dangerous,
says Zahl.
It isn't dangerous so much in that vestments and incense lead inexorably
to the ordination of practicing homosexuals and to the dissolution of
moral norms. (There is no necessary connection, of course. If there
were, all priests in the Orthodox churches would be homosexuals, since
those churches excel in liturgical externals.)
No, the real problem for the Evangelical is the one Zahl brings up only
in his last sentence. There is a logic to the realization that
Evangelical worship is insufficient. Once you admit that it is, you
start a search. You know there must be more and that Christians once
must have had more. You sense it in your bones.
If you investigate the early Church, as Thomas Howard did, and if you
make that investigation open-mindedly, you find not just a "high church"
way of worshiping but a "high church" way of believing.
If you just add the smells and bells to your present Evangelicalism, you
end up with Evangelicalism-plus-accoutrements, and still something will
be missing. The missing part will be "high church" beliefs, but you
can't have those while remaining an Evangelical. You will have to
"become Roman."
Thomas Howard and Paul F. M. Zahl both know this is true. Howard
acknowledges it and submits to it. Zahl acknowledges it and fights it.
In the long run, those are the only options for the Evangelical.
p.s., It's good to see so many readers of the E-Letter signing up for the
third annual Catholic Answers apologetics cruise, which will take us
from Montreal to Boston with stops in such places as Quebec City and
Halifax, Nova Scotia. Our voyage is from October 2-9. Find out more at:
www.catholicanswerscruise.com
p.p.s., If you have a comment about anything appearing in this E-Letter, please do
not hit your Reply button. Instead, go to Catholic Answers' new discussion
forums at http://forums.catholic.com
where you may post your comment in
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