A few months ago at Mass, a couple with their young daughter entered the pew directly in front of my husband and me. Everything was fine until the Confiteor, when the husband turned to wife and proceded to have a conversation with her. Not a few words mind you, but a conversation. This got the little girl's attention, so she stood up on the pew and began to interact with her parents. My first line of defense in situations like this is to close...
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"Enough, gentlemen, my last word is this: the guillotine seems set up for good. Take me there. An oath against my conscience you will never get from me."